the neny fragments

Fragment: ROUTINE

2010-10-05T08:32:00.001-07:00

It's been almost 2 months since I got back from NYC, and of course, I stopped writing.

[BUMMER! What is it that gets into me?!]

Anyways, as a way to get back on track with my fragments, I want to start by sharing an excerpt of an e-mail. I wrote this to a friend about a week after getting back. My words reflect a sense of belonging which one is always craving for, searching for, working towards. That day, as I re-read my own words, I began to appreciate my life in DR a bit more. My job, my friends, my hanging out spots, my activities, my ROUTINE.

My days have been pretty light and happy since then.

"You've mentioned exactly what I've been feeling all day today....the sense of power, the familiar, the organizing, the sense of direction that routine gives.....the familiar events.....it's been all there today....and has made me realize that, yes, I've made myself a home here......and I can see the fruits of my labor. I mean, making a home is not just about buying furniture or owning/renting an apartment somewhere. Home is....the little French coffee shop where I sit at the same table every week; the fruit stand down the road where the guy knows how I like my bananas; the waitresses at the French restaurant who bring my glass of water and my espresso before I order it and treat me like I'm one of them (moving me from my table because they need that ONE jajaja); the staff at the theater asks no questions when I arrive as I belong there; my colleagues from the symphony smiled when they saw me at rehearsal and genuinely expressed how empty it felt to see my chair empty for 2 weeks; phone calls and confirmations for gigs because 'yes, Darleny's back'; the aisles at the supermarket, where I can shop with my eyes closed, as I always get the exact same items. I've made myself a little life of my own here......and it's MINE.....I worked for it.....and it has my name all over......it feels nice :)"

ROUTINE. For some reason, we despise it and we whine about it because--supposedly--we get bored. But when we don't have it, we lack a sense of direction and of belonging that we constantly crave for and need. Routine keeps us sane and in order. We need structure; even if it's in--apparently--more disparate ways for some (like me), but structure, indeed.

(note: image taken from idledoodle.blogspot.com)

"...to go with the flow..."

2010-08-22T08:09:00.000-07:00

"Relaxation means releasing all concern and tension and letting the natural order of life flow through one's being"

-Donald Curtis

Today, I just wanna flow.

Fragment: GOODBYE

2010-08-16T07:31:00.000-07:00

I find myself saying "goodbye" occassionaly, and I think I secretly like it...

All this ending and re-starting provides new opportunities. To change, to learn, to grow, to re-think, re-group, re-route, re-arrange, re-place.

I just got home, or at least, somewhere in between.

I am happy; in peace. Ready for whatever will come my way this time around.

My two months in NYC were just what I wanted...just what I needed.

The spending time with my family was priceless! My meeting with friends from college was fun and insightful. All the time spent in solitude, my thoughts and me, were interesting...revealing.

Anyways, at this point somebody had to leave. There were too many toothbrushes in dad's and mom's sink!

Love you maders, father, sister, Guevs and lolos!

Oh! and I think I finally made up with NYC...I can say I (heart) NY, again ;)

Fragment: FEET

2010-08-12T21:09:00.000-07:00

Anita sent me a PRECIOUS gift today!!!!

A self portrait of her feet in FRANCE!

Two things that I love: France and feet pictures ;)

Such a thoughtful gesture...love you, girl!

Fragment: DETOUR

2010-08-05T08:15:00.000-07:00

"When you come to a roadblock, take a detour." -Mary Kay Ash from THE 12 SECRETS OF HIGHLY CREATIVE WOMEN book

I believe in this fiercely!

Every time I feel stuck, any kind of movement creates opportunities; adds new things to my life. Something as little as finding a quote in a book that provides insight, a photo in a magazine that brings inspiration, or an article that inspires ideas. Just as in my walk-abouts, movement places you on a path of hidden treasures.

Yesterday, while working on my homework for hours (WHAT? homework?? yes, I know, I still have to blog about it), I came to a roadblock! I didn't feel satisfied with the way it was coming out. My hands were getting tired from coloring tiny squares. My brain was drained, and ideas just stopped flowing.

(Above right: the homework without the finishing touch)

So, I stood up and went out.

This time, instead of a walkabout, I went directly to one of my favorite spots in this town: BARNES AND NOBLE.

Chai tea in hand, a bunch of books and magazines on the table, the smell of coffee in the air, chattering from all kinds of strangers as background noise. *SIGH* What an inspiring place to be!

I found cool quotes and ideas, and relaxed while dreaming of places and things I saw in the magazines.

I wore beautiful dresses and hats. Visited an ice cream parlor in Brooklyn. I met an artist, a writer, a photographer, a home decorator, the owner of a coffee shop and received great advice from all of them. I traveled to Cambodia and Greece. I was walking around each page in high heels, until I finally brought my tea to a beautiful English garden. There I sat surrounded with butterflies and fairies, and read my books all over again. I became the artist, the writer, the photographer, the home decorator, and the owner of the coffee shop ;)

Yup! I forgot about my homework COMPLETELY! When I got home, I felt brand new...and was able to come back to my tiny, colorful squares with a fresh approach.

Taking detours works wonders for me!

NOTE: I do have to give dad and sister some props. They gave my homework the finishing touch that made it work ;) Help is always needed!

"NYC + cozy coffee shops = BLISS"

2010-07-24T18:46:00.001-07:00

One of my favorite things to do when visiting NYC is finding cool coffee shops. There are so many!

After walking for hours around this busy city, it's wonderful to find a cute, little place where one can just sit and marvel. Stop for a moment and really take in the day, the city; the thoughts and feelings that NYC provokes.

Looking out the window, I open my journal and liberate my thoughts. The smell of coffee in the air, the indistinct chattering of strangers, my random thoughts finally drawn onto paper. My taste buds jump up and down as the delicate, warm liquid caresses my palate. The familiar flavor brings back memories, ignites ideas and passion...suddenly, all things look prettier and possible. BLISS.

I've written about this before....about how much I LOVE moments like these!

...and to think that there are so many yet to find!

I love coffee shops :)

"NYC + Guevs = UNEXPECTED FUN!"

2010-07-24T18:24:00.000-07:00

I am exhausted!

Just got home from a day with Guevs walking around NYC.

Here's how our day went:

*After watching INCEPTION--at crack of dawn (so we could get cheaper tickets)--, we went to Chipotle for lunch. Of course, I couldn't help noticing an Urban Outfitters on our way there, so I begged Guevs we paid a visit. He made me promise it would be a short one (tough!), and I did. So, we went in and hung out at UO for a little bit.

*As we walked 33 blocks downtown (once again, $-saving), we literally found a TREASURE-- as is the case in almost every corner of this city! A cute, small thrift shop; one of those that is organized with very fine taste, therefore, things are a bit on the expensive side. I got my usual rush of being surrounded with vintage and used items *SIGH* Also, as it always happens, I didn't want to leave without a little treasure, and I sure didn't. I spotted a box with a tag that read MYSTERY BAGS, and in it were brown paper bags labelled with a big question mark (?). You can imagine how excited I got! Each bag cost $2 dollars and I can assure you they were the two dollars best spent! The excitement of wondering what could be inside was delicious! As soon as we stepped out of the store, we nervously opened the bag to coincidentally find a treasure that has Guevs' name all over! His favorite toy from childhood: ANIMAL TOYS!

*We finally reached our destination: HELL'S KITCHEN FLEA MARKET! NOTE: Thank you, Guevs for taking part of all my little fantasies on this day ;)

*The heat from the sun burning our skin as we walked around the flea market made us really tired and thirsty. We decided to get some refreshments. I got myself the signature drink of this trip: Thai Iced Tea. Guevs, on the other hand, decided for quantity over quality (jaja): a dollar iced tea from McDonald's! NOTE: sorry, no pictures from this part of the day. I guess I didn't want the evidence of me sitting in such place :p

*We walked to Time Square. The place was packed with tourists, as always! It is so uncomfortable to walk around there :S But oh so worth it. These streets are so full of live, of movement; there's always so much going on. Time Square is certainly the HEART of this city. Guevs and I finished our drinks sitting at the new closed sections for pedestrians. People-watching; taking the city all in...

*Guevs decided we go into the Visitor's Center in Times Square. There, we grabbed magazines, maps and advertisements for touristy attractions. We took a picture next to the New Year's Ball which is dropped every year at Times Square. Then, we spotted a very cool wall filled with confetti! The title above this colorful wall read: HOPES AND DREAMS. We got closer and noticed the confetti all had handwritten messages from tourists that come in here and write down their hopes and dreams for 2011. Guevs and I went ahead and wrote ours. Supposedly, these will be the confetti thrown in the air once the clock hits 12am this upcoming December. WOW! How cool is that!

*Then, another snack at nowhere else but...McDONALD's!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't believe it still, I know :)

*Last stop...goofing around at another of my top places: H&M!

Good times ;)

Fragment: FEET

2010-07-21T12:48:00.001-07:00

As I organized photos on my computer, I curiously realized that I tend to take pictures of my feet, especially when I am ALONE somewhere.

I became intrigued, and immediately wondered: WHY IN THE WORLD DO I DO THIS?

Hmmmm...

Now that I became aware of my FEET photos, I find them everywhere! I began to search online and have come across SO many! It's so exciting to know that other people do it too ;)

But wait...Does this mean/say anything in particular?

Most of the people call this kind of photo a SELF PORTRAIT--interesting.

The irony of my feet-picture-taking is that I actually dislike my feet =/, so...why do I want to record them so often?????

Of course, this was my immediate thought after realizing how often I do it. Nevertheless, after reading photographer Karen Walrond's explanation, I understand that when I take pictures of my feet, what I really want to RECORD is the moment; a memory lived and understood by me...just by ME.

Here is Karen's insightful explanation (http://www.gadling.com/2009/04/30/through-the-gadling-lens-self-portraits/):

"And finally, the above shot of Susannah's feet: in this case, Susannah wasn't trying to capture her feet, per se, but the memories of what she was feeling and experiencing right at that very moment on that cold, rocky English beach. In this case, the photograph is a tool to record emotion, rather than to document scenery."

WOW! It explains to PERFECTION the reason why I take self portraits of my feet--to record emotions of a specific moment/place in time *SIGH* Love it!

I am hooked to finding more feet pictures now!!!! Do YOU take this kind of self portrait too? If you do, please, DO SHARE ;)

Here are my findings:

From my friends' pictures on Facebook

1. Frenchy Aish girl's feet @ France 2. Paopao's and her friend's feet @Bariloche 3. Sol's and her friend's feet @DR 4. Jirehsita's and her friend's feet @Boston

From complete strangers around the world

Notes: Just in case people from the "strangers from all over the world" section come across their pair, here are the sources.

1. David Avery's feet after bike race (ice on shoes) from his blog

2. Stephanie Levy's get together with other bloggers in England

3. S and J's feet in lake from Susanna's Sketchbook blog

4. Rosemud's blog http://rosemud.blogspot.com

5. Rosemud's blog http://rosemud.blogspot.com

6. "Fishnet Feet" from Lauratitian flickr photos

7. Kyle Silverman's feet in climbing aiders from Oregonlive blog

8. Dgypsy flickr photos

9. Christian girls rebuilding in New Orleans from Elca blog

10. Baby Gideon from Baby Gideon's blog

11. Ian's feet at beach from Netspeed blog

12. Mama Vee's feet before surgery from Avital blog

13. Megan's feet at Charles de Gaulle Airport from Not Martha blog

14. Rosemud's blog http://rosemud.blogspot.com

My own :)

1. Me @Astor Place, NYC 2. Me @train station, NYC 3. Me@Lemay's wedding, DR 4. Me @Productos Bautista photoshoot, DR 5. Me @airplane on my way to NYC 6. Me @My Way Coffee shop, NYC

"Mint Green Love"

2010-07-20T20:54:00.001-07:00

These days, I indulge in MINT GREEN things.

So delicate, so sweet...this color makes me melt...

*SIGH*

Fragment: CLARINET

2010-07-20T20:09:00.002-07:00

Today...I feel love for him.

I feel like looking for images that will inspire more positive thoughts of him.

You see, we have this LOVE-HATE relationship. He has shown me the best AND the worst feelings, situations, and emotions of the whole of me.

He has taken me places; has introduced me to some of the greatest people in my life; he has given me the unconventional lifestyle I'd always desired; has brought me love.

He incites goose-pumps when emotions take over me; makes me lose track of time; he speaks of me like nothing else in my life ever does; he's with me all the time, anytime...always.

But...he has also shown me tears, frustration, pain, maddening moments and quite a few embarrassing situations.

Nevertheless--as my friends usually point out--as much as I whine and complain, I MUST acknowledge that if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be ME today. He is the biggest part of me...and there's much love for him in my heart. I've often felt lost, not sure of where to go or what to do with him. But I don't seem to be able to let go off him!

MY CLARINET :) he reminds me of ME...in all it's complexity...soothing sounds can be made. Tough and soft, moody and gentle; all at the same time. Me.

"City Island"

2010-07-19T18:44:00.000-07:00

"Women are emotionally incoherent...it's our most defining characteristic."

"Call me...but only on a whim."

"What other profession could accommodate my sort of behavioral problems?"

-Quotes from City Island movie.

Emily Mortimer is irresistibly sweet and delicate, as she always is. She reminds me of Chesky in a way. Terribly charming! I love watching her in movies; it's like eating cotton candy on a breezy afternoon as you walk around a lake :)

Andy Garcia was cool. Sweet at times, other times he seemed so ordinary; simply a regular guy.

The young boy reminds me of June (a friend from church) and Guevs (my brother). Sarcastically teasing everyone at the dinner table; so creatively hilarious! He had me bursting with laughter.

The family....just like every family...totally screwed up! So many secrets; things untold because of everyone being afraid of being misunderstood. Sounds like LIFE as it is.

Really enjoyed it, along with 2 slices of pizza and some wine...mmmm!

NOTE: Should I venture to City Island one of these days?

"...only own things that you love..."

2010-07-19T14:45:00.000-07:00

It is officially IMPOSSIBLE to come to NYC and not shop.

Yes, I confess, I've been shopping...despite of the fact that I promised myself I wouldn't--oopsie!

But it is oh!-so-SATISFYING!!!!!!!

Well, I guess I could link this confession with a little goal of mine (which will perhaps help with the guilt trip). About a year ago, I made a decision: I WILL ONLY OWN THINGS THAT I LOVE. Of course, since I didn't have a home of my own, this decision was more based on my closet/wardrobe.

My decision became a goal given that it is a process that requires adaptation, will power, and a bit of work. The goal was to acquire this new mind set and live accordingly.

The hardest part of the process is deciding which things to get rid off, especially, when there are objects that carry an emotional value; a memory. Expect to spend hours and hours trying to decide; debating whether to give something up or not. In some cases, you may have to simply decide to compromise. Hours and more hours trying things on and off...and, on and off again just to make SURE. Piling away the pieces that don't completely convince you, and putting back on the hanger the ones that undoubtedly WORK. Keep in mind that this process will be physically and emotionally draining.

Nevertheless, once the classifying stage is completed, you will look at your bags filled with "unwanted" stuff, and feel......LIBERATED!

With more free space now (NOTE: not necessarily for NEW stuff!) and a closet containing ONLY pieces that fit perfectly and that you LOVE, there's no way to go wrong. The endless hours of outfit searching before an outing are over. Any 2 pieces that you grab from your--hence--LOVELY wardrobe will make you, literally: PRETTY happy ;)

So, now that I have matured a bit in my process *wink, wink* my shopping has been done with this newly acquired mindset. The philosophy QUALITY over QUANTITY helping, as well. The ultimate GOAL being a closet looking somewhat like this...very polished, grown-up and organized:

Good luck to me!!!!!

"My little goals seem so insignificant to the world, when they actually mean a world to ME!" -My FB status for today.

NOTE: My favorite purchase so far...I am so in loooove with these beauties!!!! The color, the material, the leather flower on the top/front area, the big-wooden heels...*sigh* TOTAL BLISS ;)

"Neny wants..."

2010-07-18T08:43:00.000-07:00

...round sunglasses...John Lennon style...

I've been wanting them for a while, but must confess that I haven't been fiercely looking.

I've seen them on the Olsen twin...and like them.

Saw them on my friend, Frenchy-Aish...and loved them (she got a hand-down vintage Ray Ban pair! YES, I am hatin' :P).

Now, I've decided to find ME a pair.

I'm thinking of buying these from Rosemud at ETSY. Must decide today before someone else does!

Check them out:

Price $5.00 dollars

NOTE: Someone just did :( WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!?!?!

Fragment: MOTHERHOOD

2010-07-17T09:03:00.000-07:00

2nd post of the day!

This one I should keep SHORT; but real short, not MY kind of short. I don't want much room left for misinterpretations of the things here said :p

I've always been the one to say: "I'm NEVER gonna have kids! I'm not even slightly interested in that subject matter...changing diapers, the lack of sleep, the constant physical exhaustion, teaching another how to live life when I'm not even so sure, shoving MY desires to the backseat for about 18 years.....WHAT'S THE POINT?!" UFFF! My mother would roll her eyes in disgust every time she'd hear me pronounce these words, which--of course--would make me wanna say them again and again (JAJA!). I was definitely not aware of the weight my words had. But somehow the idea of having babies didn't make much sense to me.

I am NOW well aware of how selfish my words must've sounded (sorry maders!)

However, there was one fact of which I was CERTAIN: there was this motherly instinct that some of my girlfriends had that I never seemed to experience (Chesky and Chas being the prime examples). Therefore, I thought maybe motherhood was just not for me. Just like cooking wasn't--still isn't--either. "There are quite some WOMANLY parts missing in me!", I remember thinking.

Well...I don't know if AGE has anything to do with it, or life experience...but, lately, I feel that maybe--JUST MAYBE--I can deal with having ONE ;)

Then, I watched the movie MOTHERHOOD and the "just-maybe" feeling almost dropped again. That was until I went to visit little An and became convinced that this feeling is here to stay....at least for ONE...JUST ONE...after that one, we'll talk.

(Above right: An and me)

THIS IS PRETTY BIG FOR ME!!!!

NOTE: Sister! Watch the movie! I think you'll see yourself in some aspects of the story ;)

Fragment: FUTURE HOME

2010-07-17T07:27:00.000-07:00

Oh my!! There are SO many things I want to blog about now!!! Is it OK to post more than one entry in one day??? Are you guys OK with that? ;)

Well, today, I might just have to or else, I'm gonna forget! I have to make up for those months of silence, eh?

Ok, so......this one is short and sweet. Basically, I want to share this fragment more so I don't forget about it!

I was looking for a place on craigslit.org for my sister and her kids to stay as they are coming to visit us (YEY!). This is when I bumped into a listing that I REALLY liked, and although I requested information, the person never got back to me (bummer!). Anyways, the picture of the little studio I saved for inspiration :)

I would love a place just like this for myself! I think there's really nothing more that a person needs; as of space, that is. In such a small space, you can have EVERYTHING, and it looks SO cozy and SIMPLE. I look at this little house and I definitely SEE me :)

So, I've decided that I want a place like this one (picture on the left). Whether I move out alone again, or move in with someone (aka get married? WHAT! note: this doesn't specifically mean anything if you're asking yourself why I just mentioned this here :p)...wow, this just made me realize that there are some serious fragments I've left out during my periods of silence (sorry!).

Ok, going on......

I've been wandering around stores in the NYC and Bergen County areas, and I came up with a list of THE stores to buy furniture and home decor for when I do get my little place. This is if I live in the states again. In the DR, the options are more limited--and more expensive--but it's not impossible....I can live ANYWHERE. Nevertheless, shopping here for home stuff would be FAR more exciting *wink, wink*

The list goes something like this:

-IKEA (duh!!!) I think you all would've guessed that one! Affordable, chic furniture and convenient in all aspects imaginable!

-MARSHALLS Great for unique wall art and good prices on brand names in bed sheets and towels; also, you can find unique pieces of furniture, but they are scarce and are often scratched or broken =/

-TJ MAXX Same as Marshalls.

-TARGET You can also find cute things at great prices for home decor and things that you actually really NEED (like bathroom and kitchen stuff)

-URBAN OUTFITTERS Good for weird, unique, colorful stuff (furniture and decor)...a bit overpriced for MY taste tho'

-THE CONTAINER STORE I am an ORGANIZATION freak! So this store relieves my anxieties ;) A MUST for my sanity!

-Various FLEA MARKETS/ANTIQUE SHOPS To satisfy my desire of treasure hunting!

-ETSY.com Same as above ;)

Just as a little example, look at this gorgeous bookend I found at Marshalls the other day:

I'm SO in love!

I don't ask for much, right? ;)

NOTE: I guess, in the end, this post was not as short as I thought it would be...oopsie!

Fragment: HAIR

2010-07-16T06:54:00.000-07:00

"I want to wear HATS and not have to worry about my curls getting all crappy =/ Will it be possible...ever?" -My FB status yesterday which I erased and preferred to blog about it ;)

This thought reminds me of my friend Vel's mom, Yoli, back in June 2008. We were at an after party (after having played a concert). I had done my hair that day (aka straightened it) and while dancing outside with Vel, I kept touching my hair, like trying to tame it, keeping down the possible coming frizz.

When she caught me doing this, Yoli came close to me and whispered in my ear, "stop worrying about your hair so much! It makes you look insecure and self-conscious, and will make people easily become aware of that which you want to hide. But if you let your hair lose, free to take its natural course, whether it is to be tamed or run wild, but you're OK with it, and show it by moving freely, not paying any mind to it, you will look BEAUTIFUL regardless!"

(Above left: Yoli and me)

Wow....she stopped my world right there and then. It was powerful what she'd said...

I opted for the wild, free and beautiful, and had a blast dancing without a care in the world. And guess what?! My hair got REALLY big!!!! But I was so carelessly-happy that I even felt (probably even looked) BEAUTIFUL ;)

(Left: Vel and I dancing as my hair got BIGGER and BIGGER)

Fragment: FRAGMENTS

2010-07-11T20:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I forget how UNIQUE the fragments of my life are, and I underestimate them. Not taking into account how PARTICULARLY MINE all my fragments are.

Yesterday, for some reason, I began reading back on this blog...and back...and back....until I reached "My 1st!" or DAY ONE. What a journey it was...what a journey it has been!

I went through so many emotions as I relived some memories; becoming aware of things I've learned, and how at certain points, I had no idea of how things would turn out.

It'll be 3 years soon of sharing my fragments in this space, and I this thought came to my mind. Maybe I should do something special! *wink wink* It would basically be for myself, though; but if anyone is interested in a copy, I can make YOU one, too :p

I will make me a BOOK of my fragments. UUUYYY! A little short term goal for me, YEY! It'll be a little gift I will make for myself; a gift with SO much meaning. A book holding my thoughts, my feelings, my happenings from 2007 through 2010. UUUFFFF! Yeah, definitely a MUST-READ-FROM-TIME-TO-TIME for me!

It has been a pleasure writing about my fragments these past three years. For those who read me (whoever you are, thank you!). As of this crazy heart of mine, I am grateful to have found a place where I can go to and escape...THE NENY FRAGMENTS has become a little home; a refuge for my thoughts.

I am really looking forward to more years of writing! It will be so interesting to see the fragments that are added...and the fragments that will leave.

My story is UNIQUE. I am learning to appreciate and love my life, completely :)

"FIFA World Cup 2010"

2010-07-11T17:19:00.001-07:00

I'm not a sports person at all. The only sport I could actually sit and watch is BOXING (or UFC). All the others have the ability to bore me pretty easily. But this last month, between Shakira's "WAKA WAKA" and the sound of the vuvuzela coming out of the TV as my parents watched FIFA games all day, I kind of grew fond of it; SOCCER, that is.

Before this World Cup, I could care less about soccer. As Frenchy-Aish wrote on her facebook status today, " 'Spain won'...for me, you might as well just say, 'look, the ant is walking'. I don't care :/".

But, today, as Spain scored that last and only GOL, three minutes before the end of the game, I actually screamed...yes, I was EXCITED!

It is a very intense game...so FULL of emotions!

Seeing those men (some very, very handsome boys, by the way :p) cry at the end of the games was a bit disturbing! UUUYYY! It actually made me admire them even more. I mean, they seem so strong; running around, chasing a ball for 90 minutes or so, bumping into each other and falling hardly on the ground. But they are actually so in touch with their emotional being!

And they all seem so close to each other. They reflect a beautiful sense of community that truly touched me. I actually got teary-eyed in a couple of games :'(

Today...the FIFA World Cup came to a glorious end...I feel like it will be missed by many.

As of me, I'll just be relieved to hear something more than just the WAKA WAKA song on mom's channel 41 ;)

NOTE: The fact that it took place in SOUTH AFRICA brought back some very nice memories...I HAVE GOT TO RETURN TO SOUTH AFRICA SOME DAY!

(Above: Me @South Africa, April 2004)

"The things you left behind..."

2010-07-10T07:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I felt so close to you. You were in every corner of the house. Your old school music was all packed up in hundreds of cassettes inside an orange Home Depot bag, sharing the room with your son. Your 400+ CD collection was standing in a box facing the Hudson River, witnessing a breathtaking sunset; Dad and I organized them in 2 cool Ikea towers. Your scent collection was fragancing each room of the apartment with mouthwatering flavors. Your fancy marble chess set was sitting on the window sill and is now adorning the new Ikea sofa table we put in the living room (looks so fine, by the way!). All the little knick knacks from your travels are finding their way into this home, but some haven't found a place just yet. I put them inside one of the blue storage boxes under the sofa table. Your picture frames of you and your son, your daughter, your family, me...they are so many...you had so many pictures hanging in your bedroom, in your living room. Now, they are all here; some are up, but most are just stacked one on top of the other hidden behind a bed, until we figure out where to put them.

All these THINGS are bringing YOUR life into your kids' apartment...YOU ARE SO HERE...you are part of your 'original' family, once again...and it's so...satisfying, in a way :)

Tell me why.....I see you in so many men walking around NYC...can't help missing seeing your face, and watching you have your dinner at granny's house, which you used to savor and enjoy so much (can't help hearing the sounds you used to make)! It was all SO much part of my NYC trips. It is truly obvious that you're not here.

I sent you an e-mail the other day...can you get e-mails in heaven? :S

....writing is a precious gift.

Missing you lots... :'(

PS: There was something about your hands that I can't seem to get out of my head. Well...I am a hands person...so, I guess yours were one of those pair of hands I really liked :)

Fragment: WALKABOUTS

2010-07-06T19:30:00.000-07:00

Today...came a moment when I just needed to get away!---(I tend to get these often)

(Left: image from Keri Smith's book LIVING OUT LOUD)

Sometimes, there's too much going on. May be around me or inside of me. Situations...thoughts...options that require a decision...or perhaps a memory that suffocates me, and I just have to catch my breath! And UFFFFF! That's when I decide to jump out of it. At least for a little while, 'til I gather my thoughts and my whole self.

So, without giving it much thought (which is obviously what I can't handle in those moments: MORE THINKING!), when that moment came today, I hopped on a bus to the city.

There was no specific place in my mind for me to go. But when I got to the city, I got on the train and randomly stopped on 14th st. UNION SQUARE. Coming out of the train station, the wonders of this day began to unravel. URBAN OUTFITTERS was right on the corner of the train station--how convenient ;)

I went into the store (of course!) and delighted all my senses while browsing through the sales rack (the only section I can afford) *wink wink* Touching, seeing, hearing...taste and smell not so much, but it is such a wholesome experience for me that, yes, I do believe I even tasted and smelled things :p

After finding 3 little treasures, I felt better ALREADY!

Coming out of UO, I started making my way down 6th Avenue. I had no idea where I was headed. Yet, I knew exactly where I was going--WEIRD. I made a right at an odd corner (maybe by West 4th) and started getting lost in these little, colorful streets full of restaurants, stores and coffee shops. My senses were brimming! I was literally feeling LIFE running through my body, through my veins.

It was extremely HOT today! But, for some reason, it didn't bother me at all. Even my wet skin reminded me of how HERE I was today.

I stopped for lunch at an Indian little hole in the wall. Exotic flavors! Another sensorial experience, and thankfully, affordable (a NYC rare). Then, more walking.

Had BEBE on my BB as I walked (that woman speaks DIRECTLY to my soul), now with a MATCHA GREEN TEA BLAST from Jamba Juice in hand (I'm so hooked to these now, and also, thai iced teas!). Mmmmm...refreshing! Just what I needed. And...thoughts? They were there...but...not so much as overwhelming, heavy facts......more like poetic, little fragments depicting the wonderful days of Neny in this life :)

This is when I stumbled upon an oasis in the middle of this fast paced, noisy city. A total GEM! Here, I just laid on a bench and read for a while.

I was like getting a 'high' on life this afternoon! It was a marvelous idea to leave home and just come out!

Simply WALKABOUT ;)

*SIGH*

I was ready to go home.

I highly recommend WALKABOUTS. When things get foggy inside of you just go out for a loooong walk ;) You cannot imagine all the little treasures you might stumble upon. Little things will lift up your spirit; bring a smile to your face; make you understand something; inspire an idea, a thought, a feeling...and you might even find...CLARITY.

I sure did.

"4th of July!"

2010-07-05T18:10:00.000-07:00

Someone said to me yesterday, "HAPPY 4th OF JULY!", as I waited for the show to start. This actually reminded me that......I AM AN AMERICAN :)

I wasn't all that excited about watching the fireworks last night. My parents and I had plans, but for some reason, my attitude was more on the side of "Uhuuu, fireworks" (in a sarcastic tone, that is). In past July 4th celebrations, I'd seen the fireworks from granny's apartment, from where they looked nice...but just that: Oh, nice.

But this time, when the first fireworks loudly popped and illuminated the skies with beautiful images and colors, I was STUPEFIED!

I caught my breath; my lips parted; my eyes were fixed...I was falling in love with that moment!

BONUS! I got to see the show from a building nearby (aka by the Hudson River *wink, wink*), which added to the unexpected excitement (totally!). Certainly looks amazing up close.

I thought of my design class while watching the show. I mean, there were happy faces, planets and 3-dimensional shapes popping up in the sky! "Who creates these things?! and HOW!", I thought.

It was awesome! I had a good time :)

Thanks family for showing me a wonderful night! And.....yes, wine and yummy Dominican food is always nice. Mmmmm!

NOTE: Design class? Yes...gotta catch up on that fragment! Oh, and......I'm in New York, by the way, for those who didn't know ;)

Fragment: SILENCE

2010-07-02T08:08:00.001-07:00

"Things have happened the way they were supposed to happen...I MUST trust that." -my Facebook status for today

Sometimes, I go through these periods of silence...silence towards the world; silence towards all the fragments of my life (yes, including this blog).

The funny (or ironic) thing is that while I seem SO quiet, what's REALLY taking place is a lot of MOVEMENT! Fragments of my life start changing; moving from place to place; taking new twists and turns; acquiring different colors, shapes and meanings; reaching new levels, expanding......and it gets SO loud inside of me!

And when it gets this loud on the inside, I just NEED to be silent on the outside.

It seems like I can't write until the moving fragments fall into ONE place. Two months fly by, and it seems as if I just blinked my eyes. The fragments slow down to a comfortable pace and the clouds dissipate...the noise inside gives way to the silence from the outside...and my soul feels a sweet breeze...a delicate drizzle refreshing the insides of me.

GUESS WHAT?

...such moment has arrived :)

Welcome back, Neny!

(how many times have I had to say this to myself :P)

"A Yellow Butterfly"

2010-05-13T18:05:00.000-07:00

"...there was a YELLOW butterfly always following me..."

I'm doing my so loved google image search...and today....I just want to see yellow butterflies!

Fragment: FRIENDS

2010-05-01T11:23:00.000-07:00

At any given moment, whether I'm up or down, FRIENDS always makes me laugh (the show that is!).

I love EACH and every one of the characters these 6 people play. I can't ever decide which is my favorite.

-Monica reminds me of my perfectionism and OCD ;) So, I love her in that way.

-Rachel is a beautiful, charming girl who everyone loves to watch :P

-Phoebe is hilarious!!!!!!! I laugh by just looking at her face :D :D :D

-Joey's naiveness, goofiness and soft heart is cute and endearing.

-Chandler is such a good man, who makes me laugh with his honest remarks.

-Ross forever in love with Rachel, reminds me of oh! so many feelings and stories.

Definitely, one of my favorite shows of all times! When in front of a TV (which is very seldom), Friends is one of the only 2 shows I'd be watching (Sex and the City being the other, of course).

"Six young people, on their own and struggling to survive in the real world, find the companionship, comfort and support they get from each other to be the perfect antidote to the pressures of life."

NOTE: I love that they always hang out at the coffee shop!

Fragment: SPACEBOX

2010-04-28T19:00:00.000-07:00

I am in awe! I just came across this innovative living concept: SPACEBOX.

This ingenious invention by architect Mart de Jong in Holland back in 2003, consists of "a light weight prefab building system" which was inspired on the existing need for student housing.

I would've loved to live in a SpaceBox during my college years!

Fragment: HSP

2010-04-26T19:48:00.001-07:00

"There has got to be a place in the world for people like me...."

-Neny

This is how I feel tonight, after my conversation with my friend Vel. But it is actually how I feel most of the time.

Writing this just made me think of a concept I came across with 2 years ago on a magazine. HSP--Highly Sensitive People (concept developed by Dr. Elaine Aron). I remember when I read the article, I felt an incomparable comfort! A connection never made before in my life. Suddenly, there was meaning to the way I am, and not only was it an exact description of me, but it also pointed out that being the way I am is actually a GIFT.

These are statements that describe an HSP:

You, your partner, or someone important to you have a heightened awareness of subtleties in your environment, whether it's sight, sound, touch, taste, or smell.

You can become stressed out and upset when overwhelmed and may find it necessary to get away, maybe into a darkened room, to seek solitude, relief and comfort.

You are very creative.

You are very conscientious, hard working, and meticulous, but may become uncomfortable and less efficient or productive when being watched or scrutinized.

You feel compelled to file and organize things and thoughts, also enjoy simplicity and may become overwhelmed or even immobilized by chaos, clutter, or stress.

You are very uncomfortable when feeling things are getting out of your control.

You get a sense of comfort and well being when around a lake, river, stream, the ocean, or even a fountain.

You may experience mood swings, sometimes occurring almost instantly and can also be affected by other people's moods, emotions and problems.

You have a deep, rich, inner life, are very spiritual, and may also have vivid dreams.

You are very intuitive and you feel that you can usually sense if someone isn't telling the truth or if something else is wrong.

You get concerned and think or worry about many things, and have also been told "you take things too personally."

You have had the experience of "cutting people out" of your life.

You were considered quiet, introverted, timid, or shy as a child.

If interested by this new concept in the world of psychology and human behavior, please read more here:

http://www.highlysensitivepeople.com/

Or you can purchase the book, "THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON" by Elaine N. Aron. It is a MUST-GET for me!

"-You came to HOME DEPOT and got a flower?

-Yea, so?

-You're missing the whole point of being here!"

(excerpt from a scene, TV show 'The New Adventures of Old Christine')

I'd definitely be that person that gets a tiny flower from Home Depot and feels fascinated by JUST it ;)

NOTE: this is the link to the actual HSP test http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm. I answered 25 of 27 affirmatively!

Fragment: ART

2010-04-19T07:33:00.001-07:00

My heart stirs in such a way when I come across things like these:

Expressive Arts Teacher Training program

http://creativejuicesarts.com/teacher-training/

Jennifer Lee's blog LIFE UNFOLDS

http://www.lifeunfoldsblog.com/about-me/

"Wreck this Journal" by Keri Smith

What is it that my heart keeps TELLING me?!

"Natalie Portman"

2010-04-11T08:55:00.001-07:00

Another power woman that I love to watch in movies is NATALIE PORTMAN. Her charm is so captivating in each film.

I've seen her in Closer; Garden State; New York, I love you; My Blueberry Nights; Paris, je t'aime; Leon (when she was little); and now, Brothers.

Oh wow, she was amazing in this movie "Brothers". You know how she's sometimes super sexy or crazy in some roles? Well, this time, it was so refreshing to see her again as a normal, girl-next-door wife. The storyline of this film was so touching. I cried like a baby :'( I mean, it is so unfortunate that these things are actually happening in REAL life :S Crazy, crazy! A must watch ;)

Love, love, love Portman movies!

Fragment: MOVIES

2010-04-08T11:52:00.000-07:00

I love movies that take place during Christmas. They give me such a "feel good" feeling...... *SIGH*

Love Actually (2003), The Holiday (2006), Serendipity (2001), While You Were Sleeping (1995), The Family Stone (2005), Bridget Jone's Diary (2001), Sleepless in Seattle (1993), You've Got Mail (1998), Annie Hall (1977).

Each one of them is perfect for any gloomy day ;)

I think I might need one today :P

Fragment: CLEANING

2010-04-03T07:34:00.000-07:00

"nothing beats the feeling of clean. when everything is bright and sparkly. when the past is washed away and you have a fresh, new start. when your life is spotless and the possibilities are endless. and just for a moment--sigh--everything is perfect. for soon enough, life will go on. and before you know it, it will be time to clean again."

-from a Target's dusting cloth package :P

Really?! I have to clean.... AGAIN?!

These are the moments you start appreciating things you once had jajajaja...it's ok...I'm learning so many things! It's great :)

Must not complain ;)

"Eat, Pray, Love"

2010-04-02T08:59:00.000-07:00

OH----MY-----GOD!

I read the synopsis for the book "Eat, Pray, Love" a while back and was immediately interested in the story. I added it to my "Books to Read" list, but still haven't purchased it.

Recently, I found out a movie has been made based on this book which will be coming out this summer.

I saw the trailer just now and..........I have goose-pumps all over my body!

You guys know how I'm always talking about recognizing yourself in other people's stories, or in movies, or books, or places, etc......I have DEFINITELY found MYSELF in this story!

Can't wait 'til it comes out!! And the fact that Julia Roberts is the main character is just like the perfect BONUS!

In the meantime, I'm gonna go get me the book ;)

Fragment: TABU

2010-04-01T18:39:00.000-07:00

One of my best friends ever is getting married! I've known Tabu since I was like 16 years old...awww :)

And not only am I inspired to blog about this because he's my best friend, but I am also in love with the concept of his BIG DAY!

Kangri and Tabu, like the rest of us common mortals, are not in their best financial place at the moment. Therefore, they wisely decided to postpone the wedding.

(Right: Tabu and me/Left: Tabu and Kangri)

However, their group of friends from ICC (the community church they attend) had the beautiful idea of celebrating, literally, a "community wedding" for the lovebirds. And when I say community wedding, I mean, someone will provide the bride with a dress, another will be in charge of decorating the venue, one will make the cocktail that will be served, others will be arranging the bride's bouquet, two girls will get bridesmaids dresses, one will make the cake, I will make the bridesmaids button bouquets (YEY!), etc, etc...and all this without Kangri or Tabu having to do anything or pitch in a dime!!! Isn't this marvelous?!

That is true friendship, I must say... :)

I am so excited about this wedding! Once again, I am hooked to the best wedding website for ideas and inspiration www.stylemepretty.com.

I so love untraditional weddings! This is such a practical idea. A true friends and family celebration. That's what it's all about. That's what I dream of for MY big day ;)

*SIGH*

NOTE: Pictures to come!

Fragment: PEANUT BUTTER

2010-03-29T06:23:00.001-07:00

"I am such a nut lover!!!!" Some 'pervs' start cracking jokes when I pronounce these words. But while these people are stupidly laughing, my body is feeling appreciative of the foods that I eat ;)

I love the taste, the variety, the crunchiness of nuts...they're the perfect snack, anytime! I usually carry a bag filled with cashews or almonds in my purse for my sudden hunger attacks. And...to top my love for them off, I've read (here and there) of their great health benefits!

One of my absolute favorite items of all times has to be PEANUT BUTTER! I spread it on freshly cut apples, on toasts with sliced bananas on top and with jelly in a sandwich. It's such a feel good food! I love it! HMMMMM!

Well, the other day my sister gave me a not so cool information. She had read/heard that peanut butter is not all that healthy, as it contains saturated fat!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!! What a downer; I felt so sad! I mean, I try to eat healthy, so if peanut butter fell into the 'unhealthy' category, that meant I 'd have to give it up :( (?!)

So, this morning, as I made my peanut-butter-spread-toast-with-sliced-bananas-on-top for breakfast, I decided to do my own search on the health benefits of my so loved butter.

To my extreme happiness and satisfaction, I have found GREAT news!!! YEY!!! Taken from http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletters/Harvard_Heart_Letter/2009/July/Ask-the-doctor-Why-is-peanut-butter-healthy-if-it-has-saturated-fat, please read the following explanation:

Why is peanut butter "healthy" if it has saturated fat?

Q. I keep reading that peanut butter is a healthy food. But it contains saturated fat and has more sodium than potassium. That doesn't sound healthy to me.

A. The presence of saturated fat doesn't automatically kick a food into the "unhealthy" camp. Olive oil, wheat germ, and even tofu — all "healthy" foods — have some saturated fat. It's the whole package of nutrients, not just one or two, that determines how good a particular food is for health.

Let's take a look at the peanut butter package. One serving (about 2 tablespoons) has 3.3 grams of saturated fat and 12.3 grams of unsaturated fat, or about 80% unsaturated fat. That puts it up there with olive oil in terms of the ratio of unsaturated to saturated fat. Peanut butter also gives you some fiber, some vitamins and minerals (including 200 milligrams of potassium), and other nutrients. Unsalted peanut butter, with 5 milligrams of sodium, has a terrific potassium-to-sodium ratio. Salted peanut butter still has about twice as much potassium as sodium. That profile compares quite favorably with bologna, roast beef, and many other sandwich fixings.

Over the years, numerous studies have shown that people who regularly include nuts or peanut butter in their diets are less likely to develop heart disease or type 2 diabetes than those who rarely eat nuts. Although it is possible that nut eaters are somehow different from, and healthier than, non-nutters, it is more likely that nuts themselves have a lot to do with these benefits.
Saturated fat isn't the deadly toxin it is sometimes made out to be. The body's response to saturated fat in food is to increase the amounts of both harmful LDL and protective HDL in circulation. In moderation, some saturated fat is okay. Eating a lot of it, though, promotes artery-clogging atherosclerosis, the process that underlies most cardiovascular disease. In contrast, unsaturated fats, which make up the majority of the fat content in peanut butter, help reduce LDL cholesterol and lower the risk of heart disease.

I try to eat as healthful a diet as I can. It includes all kinds of nuts, as well as peanut and other nut butters.

— Walter C. Willett, M.D.
Professor of Nutrition
Harvard School of Public

"I like peanut butter, creamy peanut butter, chunky peanut butter too! Peanut butter pizza, peanut butter tacos, peanut butter egg foo young!" -The Olsen twins song

Guevs and I used to love this song when we were little!!!!

Fragment: APARTMENT THERAPY

2010-03-28T11:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, so sister and I are totally hooked to apartmenttherapy.com! We can spend hours going through all the house tours, jotting down ideas that people share.

So far, this little dining set from Laura's tiny studio inspired me to wake up early today and go to IKEA to get these 2 little mirrors, which gave MY tiny dining set some character (of course, mine is the super teeny-tiny version!)

(Right: Laura's dining set/Left: my teeny-tiny version)

Also, sister sent me the information for a contest that apartmenttherapy.com holds each year. I'm thinking about submitting my apartment in the teeny-tiny category! What do you guys think?! I gotta take really good pictures, though...Aliiiiiiiiii ;)

*Here's the link to the contest info:

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/chicago/news/get-ready-small-cool-is-coming-soon-112423

I must confess to you guys, my tiny studio is literally working as APARTMENT THERAPY for me; it is my refuge in all senses right now. I love it and feel so happy to be here... :D :D :D

NOTE: You guys should check out my sister's blog TERAPIA DECORATIVA...it's like an apartment therapy for spanish speakers ;) LOVE IT!

"Crazy Heart"

2010-03-27T18:20:00.000-07:00

Beautiful songs. I love Maggie Gyllenhaal in every movie. Superb acting by Jeff Bridges. Valuable life lessons. Absolutely loved it!

"It's funny how FALLING feels like FLYING for a little while."

"-Where do your songs come from?

-Life, unfortunately."

"The harder the life, the sweeter the song"

Definitely stirred MY crazy heart! ;)

Fragment: ANTIQUES

2010-03-25T08:23:00.000-07:00

I found another blog that talks about things I love...FLEA MARKETS, VINTAGE and SHABBY findings, ANTIQUES... http://chartreuseandco.com/blog/

I want to live in a place where antique lovers abound...does that say anything about what I should be doing or should do with my life at some point?

There must be a couple of antique stores here in Dominican Republic, which I haven't visited. Hmmmm...maybe I should make a list of these and start visiting them at some point! Why hadn't I thought of this before?!?!

Actually, a couple of months back (I know, I forgot to blog about it, oopsie!), a friend told me about an antique flea market that happens every sunday at the Colonial Zone. I was so excited to hear that!! So, the following sunday, I went...it was tiny, but I felt like I was in heaven! (Pictures below)

I get this thrill when I am surrounded by old stuff! Things that belonged to people I never knew, that hold a history I will never know, but can still have a part in if I purchase it. I love nostalgia, memories, the past...I guess that's why I love ANTIQUES.

Maybe I should get into the antiques business?!?! Hmmmmm!

Maybe, maybe, maybe.......anything can be! I can't believe after all this time, I'm still FINDING me!

By the way, I got this little treasure for $150 pesos (US$4):

"I see you..."

2010-03-24T05:27:00.000-07:00

"I see you"...

...nothing in the world compares to being "seen"...

Fragment: MINI STUDIO

2010-03-23T18:49:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to share this with you guys!

A couple of days ago, I got an IKEA gift that became the answer to the HAMPER dilemma (refer to February 21st post).

An object that's been re-purposed, or perhaps, multi-purposed?

BENCH/HAMPER

So, I have my hamper and it works perfectly for my tiny apartment!

YEY! DONE ;)

"Alice in Wonderland"

2010-03-15T08:19:00.000-07:00

I loved the colors and the images of the new Alice in Wonderland film, so characteristic of Tim Burton....and enjoyed the RED QUEEN'S acting best of all!

"Clarinetisimo II"

2010-03-14T22:03:00.000-07:00

Today, another "Clarinetísimo" festival came to an end...

It's been a week full of partnership, music, learning, useful workshops and exhibitions, interesting conversation amongst colleagues, sharing tricks and tips, laughing, eating, getting to know one another, practicing, training, dealing with reeds and squeeks!

What's not to love about being connected in such a special way to a diverse group of people?!

I am extremely happy :D A bit exhausted, but super satisfied with this year's outcome! Can't wait for "Clarinetísimo 2011" ;)

Fragment: MINI STUDIO

2010-03-12T20:10:00.000-08:00

Life plays dirty, little games sometimes....

I am so disappointed... :S Disgusted and, of course, freaking out! So terrified :(

Hope there's a quick, definite solution for this one!

Fragment: ME

2010-02-28T17:36:00.000-08:00

The interesting part about my new choice of life is that I actually have REAL worries now!

No more endless longings of UTOPIC worlds in my head...

Better?

:)

2010-02-27T06:05:00.000-08:00

These days, I'm all about little things that make me smile...like this picture I found during my so loved Google image search.

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Fragment: ORGANIZING/DECORATING

2010-02-21T04:51:00.000-08:00

Ok, so, I've been to Ikea 3 times since it opened last Wednesday ;) and just can't wait to head over there again!

So far, I've gotten very useful items for my new place :D It's incredible how little things can change your everyday life! Never before had I been interested in shower heads, hooks, nails for hanging, water pumps, light bulbs, etc.! I used to think those were the boring sections of a store. Now that I NEED these things, I am SUPER interested in them ;) Very funny how life works... :)

I know you guys are dying to see what I've purchased (or not?), so I took pictures of some items; I am so in love with everything!

Now, since my mini studio is SUPER mini, I have no space at all for my laundry basket left! So, it ocurred to me that maybe HANGING HAMPERS exist????? I'm telling you, when in NEED, new interests are born, and you become creative ;)

Maybe this storage net from Ikea hanging from the ceiling could work as my new hamper?

Or in any case, I can have a laundry bag handmade and hang it from the door or from a hook on the wall.

Of course, I did a Google image search and hanging hampers DO exist! These were other cool ideas I found:

Fragment: AUDREY TAUTOU

2010-02-17T20:29:00.000-08:00

Just got home from watching "Coco Avant Chanel" with Guvs.

Another of my most favorite actresses: AUDREY TAUTOU.

Her acts are charming and her personality and smile just adorable.

I've enjoyed watching her in "Priceless", "The Da Vinci Code", "Russian Dolls", "A very Long Engagement", "L'auberge espagnol", "He loves me, He loves me not", "Amélie", and looking forward to finding other old and new films of hers!

Fragment: MOVING

2010-02-05T20:02:00.000-08:00

FEBRUARY...short month, big changes. Just like last year...

I think a time has come for me to grow up for REAL! To have my own space, to manage my life the way I believe works for me, to pay ALL my bills by MYSELF (uuuu! scary!), to have my own little 'home'.

So, a couple of days ago, I began my search. Waking up early in the morning, walking to the nearest newsstand, buying all the newspapers...I would come back home, excitingly sit at my desk, sip my coffee, and browse through the classifieds. It appeared to me that apartment searching was going to be a fun project. Until I realized, how sad it was that the places I could afford were either ugly or dirty or in areas that I wouldn't feel safe :S

I did find 3 one-bedroom apartments worthy of consideration. However, I still wasn't getting that "YES!-this-is-what-I've-been-looking-for" feeling.

Then, one day, while not fiercely looking, I came across a listing on the internet that sounded about right. At this point, I wasn't all that excited, but decided to give it one last shot before deciding for an apartment that was acceptable, but certainly not 'THE ONE'.

OMG!!!...........................................................I'd found a hidden treasure!!!!

Here are the photos of my little home...or as I've named it, "NENY'S TINY STUDIO" ;) YEYYYY!

Now, moving, organizing, decorating, and of course...LIVING! oh yeah....and paying rent every month, grrrrr! ;)

"The Answer Man"

2010-02-01T08:38:00.000-08:00

Interesting answers to important life questions from "THE ANSWER MAN" movie...

Q: Do I have a destiny or is it all free will? Free will or destiny?

A: Free will...moving towards or away from a purpose.

Q: If God made everything, then why are some things bad, like pain and suffering?

A: Opposites; without things that suck you would have no idea what good was and be direction-less. You smell shit and you walk the other way.

Q: Why can't I do things I wanna do? There's so much I know I'm capable of and never actually do. Why is that?

A: The trick is to realize that you're always doing what you wanna do, always. Nobody's making you do anything. Once you get that, you see that you're free and that it's really just a series of choices. Nothing happens to you; you choose.

Q: What keeps me together?

A: He knows everything about you and He wants you to know that you're enough, and so much more. You are here so god can experience the world through your eyes. See what you see; feel what you feel. Everyday, He can't wait to see what you'll do; what makes you laugh, what moves you...He can't wait! Everyday, through you, He falls in love with the world all over again. You are His MUSE.

I saw this film back in December at Fran's house, but hadn't blogged about it. Now, fixing my desk, I came across the piece of paper where I wrote "the answers" and decided to share them with you guys :)

GOOD DAY!

Fragment: JULIETTE BINOCHE

2010-01-31T17:54:00.000-08:00

I have very little favorite things, as I'm one of those people who appreciates ANYTHING in EVERYTHING.

Of those few things, JULIETTE BINOCHE is undoubtly one. I just watched the movie "JET LAG", or its original name, "Decalage Horaire"--and I loved her yet again! Have I told you guys about my love for french films??? ;) Juliette is amazing and naturally charming in both French and American films.

These are other movies I've seen her in:

"Dan in Real Life"

"Flight of the Red Balloon"

"Breaking and Entering"

"Paris, Je T'aime"

"Chocolat"

And I can't wait to see her in "PARIS"...here's the trailer:

Don't quote me on this, but for me, Juliette Binoche is like the french Julia Roberts!

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE her...AND Julia, of course!

Fragment: ME

2010-01-30T19:01:00.000-08:00

I met someone that reminds me of me when I'm older...Isn't that conspicuously cool?!?!?!

It's so interesting how we find ourselves in the most unexpected places, through people and situations that bring us closer to ourselves.

I love these moments...I had this moment, today :)

Fragment: IKEA

2010-01-29T18:04:00.000-08:00

The store that Sister, the world and I love is HERE! In the Dominican Republic!!!!! I drive by and I still can't believe it!! WOW!

The place to go to for great prices, chic furniture and décor ideas, easy assembly, and did I say GREAT PRICES?! Such affordable, cool pieces for people that don't want to commit to heavy, traditional furniture but want their place to look fab, like me ;)

IKEA's opening date is set for February 17th and it can not seem further away!!!!! I don't even want to imagine how many people will be in the store that first day! The expectation is so high right now! It's gonna be the first Ikea store in Latin America, YEY! DR once more is FIRST in history; first discovered land in the Americas, first established city--SANTO DOMINGO, first cathedral, first university, first IKEA!!!!!!!!!!! Uuuujuuuuu ;)

I just really do hope that Ikea keeps its concept of affordable prices because things tend to get triple-priced $$$$$ once they cross over the Atlantic :S

Ikea couldn't have come at a better time! ;) ;) ;)

"Wedding dress shopping..."

2010-01-29T06:11:00.001-08:00

...for LEMAY!!!

Marvic and I were so excited to be there! Standing at a showroom, surrounded by all these white gowns, a huge mirror and our best friend swirling around in beautiful dresses!

Definitely, a moment to remember forever...

And guess what, you guys?! I am the maid of honor!!! I feel super honored ;)

I'm so happy for you Lemay! :D :D :D

May God bless your union...Muuuuah!

"Music for Haiti"

2010-01-27T11:31:00.000-08:00

It is terrifying what has happened in Haiti. It reminds me of how little control we have over our own lives. Natural disasters are bigger than us; bigger than anything we are and know.

I can't take the images out of my head...I can't stop thinking about what I should be doing. Everybody is DOING something. I feel so selfish sometimes. But I tend to freeze in the middle of tension.

I am so broke...how can I help?! I know there have been ways I just let pass :S

For now...I gave what I know...and what I surely have...MUSIC.

Fragment: FRANCE

2010-01-14T17:41:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, when I daydream, I live in France.

I walk down tiny cobblestone streets, passing by NOTHING BUT coffee shops (don't you just love dreams?!), where picturesque characters sit with a book in one hand, a cigarette on the other, and a "croissant" with "caffe au lait" on the table.

A quirky tune plays in the background--yes! on a clarinet--like in those French films I love to watch ;)

I am wearing a flowery dress with a red scarf wrapped around my neck, red lipstick, a fascinator of some sort (of course!), carrying a basket with nothing but fresh flowers and a baguette.

WOW! What a hollywood tainted imagination :S

Anyhow, the point is that France is certainly a MUST for me...soon? Wish, wish, really wish so!

"Breakfast at Tiffany's"

2010-01-13T05:41:00.001-08:00

I'm usually the one who doesn't know the people that everyone knows, the places that everybody goes to, the news that everyone has heard or read of, the films that everybody has seen.

Well, thanks to Guevs, my younger brother, I finally had the honor to watch a MUST-HAVE-SEEN-A-LONG-TIME-AGO classic: BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S!

Audrey Hepburn is contagiously charming as Holly Golightly; an extroverted, naive, gold digger who, breakfast in hand very early in the morning, gets the thrill of the day by window shopping at the Tiffany's jewelry store on 5th Ave. in NYC.

The story is rather pointless in my opinion. But I did love it! The film tells one of those stories that seem so normal, so everyday-like, that you forget you're watching A MOVIE. The experience is more like living Holly Golightly's ordinary life for a couple of hours.

The tiny elements that conform her character and her life give the film its unique and entertaining peculiarity. Holly lives in a cute little apartment on one of those characteristic brownstone buildings in NYC. She owns a nameless cat, who she therefore calls, CAT. Miss Golightly goes out on dates with guys she doesn't even like in hopes of finding a gold mine that will take her out of her "misery". And to top it all of, every week, Holly innocently delivers "weather reports" to an incarcerated mob boss, thinking she's just getting paid $100 to talk about weather--that was terribly cute...I couldn't stop laughing! Her neighbor Fred and her become good friends, and ultimately, of course, fall in love...awww :)

My favorite scene is where Fred and Holly have this tiny dialogue after Fred announces good news about his book being published, and Holly suggests that they toast with champagne:

FRED: "I don't think I've ever drunk champagne before breakfast before. With breakfast on several occasions. But never before before."

HOLLY: "Well, I've got a wonderful idea! We could spend the whole day doing things we've never done before. We'll take turns. First, you do something you've never done before. Then, me...of course, I can't think of anything I've never done before."

And they go on to have an ultra-cool day just doing things they've never done before! What an inspiring idea for when you and your boy want an out-of-the-ordinary kind of day ;) POINT TAKEN!

Fragment: SHOES

2010-01-08T06:20:00.000-08:00

...choices are endless....

Heels, flats, dressy, casual, comfy, fabulously painful, sporty, booties, flip-flops................

I love shoes! (despite of my complicated feet :S)

Isn't it frustrating when you're neither a 9 nor an 8 1/2 but somewhere in between that doesn't exist?!

Shoes are like little works of art.

I love finding unique designs.

A great pair of shoes can make any outfit.

Shoe shopping is ecstatically fun! It's like treasure hunting.

Would you agree? ;)

Fragment: FOOD

2010-01-07T18:05:00.000-08:00

My eating habits are not understood nor accepted by most of the people around me. Sometimes, I am proud of my ways, but other times, it gets rather annoying to have to explain myself. I've even begun considering if it is possible that I suffer from some sort of eating disorder (?!?!?!). NAH!

About 8 years ago, I decided to make some changes in my eating. After gaining the freshman 15--thanks to overeating, constant snacking, chocolate chip cookies 'a la mode' for dessert every night--and noticing the first signs of stretch marks on my thighs (due to rapid weight change), I decided to stop the consumption of soda, fried food, fast food, junk food, candy or anything artificially flavored, etc. I also started cutting my serving sizes in half. If I felt like eating 4 slices of pizza, I'd only eat 2. If I wanted a plate FULL of pasta, I'd only serve myself half of the plate. Moreover, I changed from refined sugar to brown sugar, from white rice to brown rice and from white bread to wheat bread.

I never considered this NEW way of eating to be a diet. I've heard diets are painfully hard to follow, and this change was not hard at all. Instead of using the word DIET, I thought EATING HABIT was a more appropriate term. This eating habit was not as much about cutting out foods, but more about making better choices. For example, if I had the option of french fries AND mashed potatoes at the school cafeteria, which do you think I'd now choose?

Choosing better foods made me feel healthy and good about myself, immediately, and BONUS! I started losing weight ;) I felt my body appreciative of the food I was consuming, and 'til this day, all the eating rules I invented back then, still apply:

No fried food, no junk food, no fast food? WHAT?! I get weirded out faces all the time here in the Dominican Republic, where fried plantains are a signature culinary treat, and Wendy's and McDonald's a sign of progress (?). I'm so sorry for disappointing, but I live by this philosophy now more than ever: if fried stuff make you fat and clogs your arteries, what's the point?!

I know that I've become very faithful to my eating theories and can sometimes seem radical, but I can't just take a break like some people ask me to do. At this point, my taste buds reject those foods I've left behind.

Nevertheless, over the holidays, I tried to relax a bit and ate a couple of french fries (uuuuuuu!) and even had Wendy's for dinner one night!!! I couldn't believe it; I hadn't done so in years! My brothers, my niece and my nephew were so proud of me :D --I felt nasty afterwards, tho'-- shhhhhh ;)

Here's an interesting article on fried food...a MUST read:

http://www.brighthub.com/health/diet-nutrition/articles/31154.aspx

Happy EATING!

"RODARTE for Target"

2010-01-07T05:24:00.000-08:00

I absolute love the GO International line at Target--aka, my favorite store ever!

Haute couture and emerging designers around the world create an affordable line for Target shoppers who can't purchase the real deal, like me :)

Some of the coolest pieces of clothing I own, I've gotten at beautiful prices from Target's GO International section.

On this ocassion, RODARTE is in charge of making us Targetters look hot!

"Ideal for the season, the timeless, yet unconventional Rodarte for Target collection offers lace and tulle skirts and blouses that are both classic and modern. Girls will be compelled by Rodarte's leopard and skeletal prints featured on jackets and shifts, while their floral motifs remain versatile and true to the brand. A delicate illusion tulle dress and lace cardigans get the Rodarte treatment, making them wardrobe essentials."

Definitely, an avant-garde collection I am dying to own a piece from!

I'm thinking about one of these two...or, perhaps...the two (?):

Crepe Slip Lace Dress ($39.99)

Floral Print Ruffle 2pc Bikini ($16.99/piece)

Fragment: HAIR

2010-01-04T10:04:00.001-08:00

New year, new hair...how cliche!

Actually, it was not the new year that inspired me to cut it off, it was more like a need for control; a way to rebel against certain feelings of helplessness and loss.

I went for an asymmetrical bob, sort of like Rihanna's and Paris Hilton's. I know it is sort of risky with my curly hair...but I think it is so much fun! One side short, the other side longer...I'm so in love!

I just adore asymmetry ;)

TA TA TAAAAAAAN!

Here's me in the process (look how long my hair finally was!):

And this is the result ;)

So...I am close to what I wanted, but must admit I'm not exactly there...still trying, though :) but oh!!! $$$$$$$!

the end....

2009-12-31T06:29:00.000-08:00

...today....many things end....a year, a dream, a chapter, a question, an opportunity, a path, a way, a FRAGMENT......

The Neny Fragments don't end here, though.....there's still much more to me....or so I'd like to believe.

So, like I wished a friend this morning, I wish myself a 90% happy 2010--downs are inevitable--I just want to love...and be happy.

Happy new year everyone.....

Neny

Fragment: ME

2009-12-25T06:04:00.000-08:00

"I am feelingless...yet I feel so many things...

I feel all my worlds are turning... all my Darleny's are falling out and into place... I feel like I'm in Spain, in New York, in DR, in Cuba, in South Africa, in Denmark, in California. I'm a little girl and I'm a woman. I'm innocent and I know it all. I love and don't anymore... I am N's, A's, D's, L's and R's, yet I am nobody's; I am mine... I am me and someone else. I believe and don't believe at all. I am nowhere and everywhere at the same time. I am living so much, yet never have felt so close to dying...

I am this: ME."

Fragment: TECHIE or ANTIQUIE?

2009-12-22T16:04:00.000-08:00

As a new year approaches, I am having a little debate:

Traditional planner or Blackberry for 2010?

I am not a techie person, at all; the people that know me are fully aware of this. I never have the last model of anything! My cell phone is super simple, I do not own an iPod or an iPhone, I do not have a chic MAC, I am terrible at setting alarms and reminders on anything virtual, I've owned 3 digital cameras only because they were given to me as gifts.

Moving on to the techie world scares me a bit. I mean, I find it so magical to whip out your pen and jot down ideas, to do lists, mark X's on things that weren't done, check off the tasks you've accomplished, draw little faces or scribbles that represent what you're feeling any given moment. I don't know if I'm ready to let go of this magic!

Technology is practical; very useful. I do acknolowdge its power to facilitate things. But its practicality is such that one tiny error occurs in one of those internal, tiny wires and the info in your apparatus disappears........all of a sudden, you lose your world! UUUYYY scary!

Hmmmmm, I think I've just given myself the answer. This is the beauty of writing; ideas become so much clearer...

ANTIQUIE IT IS ;) Planner shopping, here I come!!!!!

"The BUTTERLY fragment!"

2009-12-20T06:56:00.000-08:00

I blog when I find something inspiring, moving, touching, and just anything that charms me away...

On this morning, butterflies had this effect on me...I searched for everything and anything with a butterfly motif that put a smile on my face. Here are those charming things:

"Lolita Lempicka"

2009-12-19T08:29:00.000-08:00

I fell in love with Lolita today!

I am fascinated with the website, the design of the perfume bottles, the names of the perfumes, the images and the enchanting descriptions...each perfume has its own tale!

My favorite: First Fragrance...of which Lolita says, "I drew on my distant memories to recreate this intense moment when a girl is waiting to become a woman." First Fragrance is a fairytale for women...*SIGH*

http://www.parfumslolitalempicka.com/

Now, I can't wait to go perfume shopping! My next scent will most definitely be by Lolita!

"Julie & Julia"

2009-12-09T03:46:00.000-08:00

"Uuuuyyy (in a very high pitch!), French people eat french food every single day! I can't get over it!" -Julia Child

Hmmm...I don't know if it has anything to do with the movie, but I made myself eggs for breakfast this morning! Mmmmm; hadn't done so in a while.

I watched Julie & Julia last night. What a feast! Of food, of colors, of laughter, of thoughts, of feelings, of questions, of tears...an inspiring pair of stories.

Meryl Streep, as always, was remarkably fantastic as Julia Child; and Amy Adams, whose been on various movies these last couple of years, also did a beautiful job as Julie Powell.

The film is based on two real stories:

"Julia Child and Julie Powell-both of whom wrote memoirs-find their lives intertwined. Though separated by time and space, both women are at loose ends...until they discover that with the right combination of passion, fearlessness and butter, anything is possible." -Columbia Pictures

I saw myself in so many little parts of this film. It is so comforting when you find yourself in such surreal places. You realize you're not alone in your crazy world of fears and frustrations. Lots of people go through the same stuff. In this particular case, Julie Powell found a way to FIND herself...LUCKY girl!

Well, I must say, I have been lucky myself. As I've mentioned before, ABOTONADA and The Neny Fragments have worked wonders for me! When you feel LOST or stuck, creating short term goals (even if they seem pointless) is the best medicine. Goals get you on your feet, motivate you, keep your mind occupied (therefore, less time for crappy thoughts), and you gain so much by just trying to accomplish things, even if you don't exactly get 'there'.

I think I'm starting to need a new set of those...short term goals, I mean....I've reached that point, again..............of aimlessness, and it is not fun! :S Julie & Julia have reminded me of what I started doing this year; finding little things through which I can canalize my passions. Creating goals that will keep me happy and going. So, what will my next project be?! UUUUYYY! Exciting! ;)

Note: This is Julie Powell's original blog, where she started her project, 524 recipes in 365 days from Julia Child's cookbook. The project that changed her life and her world.

Fragment: MY WAGEN

2009-12-04T05:59:00.000-08:00

My wagen is sick :(

Cars are wonderful to have when you live in a place unlike NYC (with its fabulous subway system). However, there's a not-so-wonderful side to owning one:

*paying insurance fees
*taking it to the car hospital when something doesn't sound or feel right (get ready for scary bills!)

So, when I had to leave my wagen at the shop yesterday, I wished to be a new yorker once again :S

Like everything ELSE in life, owning a car AND living in NYC both have its UPS and DOWNS.

What can you do? ;)

"a FRAGMENTED painting"

2009-12-02T10:52:00.000-08:00

I accidentally came across this painting and it is SO perfect for my blog!

The name of this work by David Bowers is "FRAGMENTED Homemaker". :D

I'm not really sure of its meaning; but somehow, I SEE myself in her, so I like it. It is MEANT to be HERE...with the rest of my fragments!

You can check out more of his work at http://www.dmbowers.com

"my FRAGMENTED heart"

2009-12-01T09:07:00.000-08:00

As the wind blows

My heart knows
As the wind blows through the trees
My heart is stirring like the leaves

Even as the rain falls from the sky
Clouds fill my eyes and I wonder why
Wonder in a sense of amazement and awe
At how life begins

It never seems to ever cease
In its educating reminding awakening us
From the things that we think that we know

As the wind blows

My heart knows
As the wind blows through the trees
My heart is stirring like the leaves

Even as fires flames burning bright
I feel my soul is my guiding light
I wonder in a sense of amusement and awe

At how life evolves

It never seems to ever cease
In its elevating redefining awakening us
From the things that we think that we know

I thought I knew I thought I knew

As the wind blows

My heart knows
As the wind blows through the trees
My heart is stirring like the leaves

-WIND lyrics by Solstice

"Lovers of the Arctic Circle"

2009-11-17T18:32:00.000-08:00

Last night, I saw a magical film. The plot revolves around the concept of the circle of life and the coincidences in life. DESTINY.

I love the plot summary that I found on www.imdb.com:

"Otto and Ana are kids when they meet each other. Their names are palindromes. They meet by chance, people are related by chance. A story of circular lives, with circular names, and a circular place (Circulo Polar) where the day never ends under the midnight sun. There are things that never end, and love is one of them."

One of the lines that struck me the most is when Ana, towards the end of the film, says: "I am waiting for the biggest coincidence of my life..." We could all tell the story of our lives by tying coincidences...WOW!

The ending really bugged me, though...I didn't really understand it! :S As explained on www.wikipedia.com: "In the end, one of the main character dies in a freak accident. Told by Ana's point of view, Otto dies, and told by Otto's point of view, Ana dies."

Hmmmm...a bit confusing...this film is so crazy! The story is so uniquely told. I absolutely adored watching this!!!

Which coincidence are YOU waiting for? Which am I? :p

Fragment: PALETTE

2009-11-16T06:56:00.000-08:00

I just realized that I haven't blogged about a colorful, meaningful new fragment of my life: PALETTE!!

Three girlfriends from the orchestra and I have brought our talents and our instruments together to create a peculiar combination of sounds, colors, looks, personalities and repertoire in this all-girl quartet! It is certainly in the beginning stages, so there's still a LOT to be done. But here's a recording we made to audition for a gig, which we got *wink, wink* and so far, have gotten very nice feedback :D

You're welcome to leave yours!

"Aug/Sept/Oct FRAGMENTS..."

2009-11-15T08:18:00.000-08:00

I guess lots of interesting little things have happened in the last 3 months, but they have passed and I have missed writing about them, oopsie! :S And, just as my favorite quote points out, "TIME THAT'S PASSED, NEVER COMES BACK".

There are some highlights, though, that MUST be mentioned.

-Orchestra auditions were held in August and the funniest thing happened! I wore heels (something I usually NEVER wear) and got a bit nervous while playing behind the curtains. The heels started shaking and affecting my playing, so as I played Mozart away, I was kicking my heels out of my foot! I did OK; not too great, not too horrible, and such was reflected in the punctuation I received, so I believe the jury was very fair and objective. Things are better now in the orchestra. The new conductor and assistant conductor are doing a great job. Everything is more organized, more serious, less drama, and (yes!) sounding much better. We are much more motivated, I guess.

-Collaborated with my lovely photographer friend, Ali, in a couple of shoots. Here are some samples:

-On a random day, my brother sent me an e-mail with the most amazing words describing me...(which, of course, I haven't yet responded!) I love you, brotherrrrrrrr:

My crazy, but so loving, sister!

You are like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day (oh wait, is this like the lyrics of a song, cause I truly just thought of this... lol, oh well!) Hahahaha, but this phrase captures so much truth to your existence Neny... No matter how hectic, or crazy your life might get, you always find a way to keep on pushing forward; making everybody around you better and better the more they get to know you. You have such a positive impact on others, that it's just amazing!

Thanks for being proud of your old bro! I love you lots, too! And if I'm your favorite genius, you are my favorite artist! And not just of creative artsy stuff; to me you are an artist of life... You add color and shape to everything you touch, and your energy moves the souls of everybody that comes in contact with you. You are like a magnet for people, no matter what situation, where, or when, people are naturally attracted to you... Because you are an ARTIST... an Artist of life!

I love you so much my gorgeous and crazy sister! Keep being who you are, just change who you are not!

Your brotherrrrrr

-Read two books I adored (!!): "The Awakening" (1899) by Kate Chopin and "Love the one you're with" (2009) by Emily Giffin.

-...and...perhaps, many other things I just can't think of right now...so, TO BE CONTINUED (?) ;)

"I'm 26... S*%# !"

2009-11-08T05:58:00.000-08:00

It's been exactly 3 months today (-1) since my last post. And it is, today, my 26th birthday.

So........why did I stop blogging? I honestly don't know. I also stopped "buttoning". Why? I don't know either.

Wandering inside of me, wondering, I've thought of several possibilities. Maybe their purpose in my life has been fulfilled? Maybe ABOTONADA simply came to the end of its productive life? Maybe I just got "writer's block"? Maybe the things that were occupying my mind couldn't be blogged about? Maybe I just didn't need it (writing, buttoning)? Maybe I grew out of something? Maybe other things were keeping me busy? Maybe I simply didn't want to anymore? Maybe things were changing and I found other ways to canalize them? Maybe, maybe, maybe....

But today.................I feel like writing......I need this refuge....changes have brought me here, again.

WELCOME BACK....to my fragmented life!