It's been almost 2 months since I got back from NYC, and of course, I stopped writing.
[BUMMER! What is it that gets into me?!]
Anyways, as a way to get back on track with my fragments, I want to start by sharing an excerpt of an e-mail. I wrote this to a friend about a week after getting back. My words reflect a sense of belonging which one is always craving for, searching for, working towards. That day, as I re-read my own words, I began to appreciate my life in DR a bit more. My job, my friends, my hanging out spots, my activities, my ROUTINE.
My days have been pretty light and happy since then.
"You've mentioned exactly what I've been feeling all day today....the sense of power, the familiar, the organizing, the sense of direction that routine gives.....the familiar events.....it's been all there today....and has made me realize that, yes, I've made myself a home here......and I can see the fruits of my labor. I mean, making a home is not just about buying furniture or owning/renting an apartment somewhere. Home is....the little French coffee shop where I sit at the same table every week; the fruit stand down the road where the guy knows how I like my bananas; the waitresses at the French restaurant who bring my glass of water and my espresso before I order it and treat me like I'm one of them (moving me from my table because they need that ONE jajaja); the staff at the theater asks no questions when I arrive as I belong there; my colleagues from the symphony smiled when they saw me at rehearsal and genuinely expressed how empty it felt to see my chair empty for 2 weeks; phone calls and confirmations for gigs because 'yes, Darleny's back'; the aisles at the supermarket, where I can shop with my eyes closed, as I always get the exact same items. I've made myself a little life of my own here......and it's MINE.....I worked for it.....and it has my name all over......it feels nice :)"
ROUTINE. For some reason, we despise it and we whine about it because--supposedly--we get bored. But when we don't have it, we lack a sense of direction and of belonging that we constantly crave for and need. Routine keeps us sane and in order. We need structure; even if it's in--apparently--more disparate ways for some (like me), but structure, indeed.(note: image taken from idledoodle.blogspot.com)
