Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Fragment: THERAPY


I am resuming my therapy sessions today, YEY!

I started going to therapy back in January, and have been wanting to blog about it, but never found the "right" time...well, such time has come ;)

I'd always been skeptical about talking to a total stranger about the issues in my life, when they probably have crazy things going on in theirs. However, something of extreme importance happened to me in January, which made me promise myself and another part of me that I would attend therapy. So, I did.

January 27th was the day that I went from skepticism to being enamoured with therapy!

With just the right words for the introduction to our session, MaFed (my shrink) hooked my emotions and my attention.

"Welcome to this space, Neny. I want you to know that everything here said is totally confidential. You can express yourself freely because this space belongs to you and it is your right. I am here to guide you and to help." BAM! I was hers... ;)

The sessions have shed some light, but even more so, the homeworks that she's assigned. MaFed asks the right questions to get the emotions stirring and memories from the past coming. Writing the events of my life in chronological order and describing them as if I were writing a novel has revealed so many things to me! Most importantly, therapy functions as a tool to help us assign names to certain feelings and situations. Until all feelings inside of us have a name, we have no clue how they unconciously affect us and/or control us. As this little fragment explains, taken from an article of MENTE SANA magazine: "An unnamed feeling is a feeling uncapable of being solved, due to the fact that we don't know in which chest of our emotional universe to put it in. And the feeling stays just like that...floating inside of us like a deaf and permanent pain."

I have loved going to therapy :) I believe it has helped me settle, understand, accept and take control over things that were floating namelessly inside of me. But after my trip to Spain, I stopped going to my sessions. There was a lot going on, and I just got lazy.

There are so many other forms of therapy, though, which also bring out valuable insights. These, I did not abandon ;) For me, reading books, watching films, traveling, crafting (ABOTONADA and scrapbooking), doing yoga, drinking a glass of wine, having coffee with a friend, shopping, reading other people's blogs, and (of course!) blogging, has worked wonders!

But today is the day to resume my "psych" therapy, so I can finish the process that I've started.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Fragment: NY/NJ


Another month of silence...and fragments actively happening!

I just spent the last 3 weeks at my second home with my parents: New York/New Jersey. I've noticed that when I travel, I don't seem to focus enough to sit down and blog. The irony is that travel should be a time of massive blogging since there's sooo much going on around and inside one's head.

Well, as you've all seen, I didn't :S

I know it's best to write when ideas are fresh, but I'll try my best in keeping the details real! It will take a couple of posts to share the impressions, situations, feelings and thoughts from this trip.

However, the first thing I have to say is that the days spent in NY/NJ revealed a lot of things to me. Understanding and acceptance took place inside of me concerning issues that've been obscured by time but not really healed. I feel things settling inside of me...something inside of me changed. The chain of events that have stirred my heart and my thoughts in the last 6 months gave way to this wonderful, soul-shaking trip.


I found this quote the other day:

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly".

I think this is what's happening to me...like a butterfly...I feel my wings finally coming out.

The day after I got back, I had lunch with my clarinet teacher. Profe has dealt with me for years and knows me very well. Someone I work often and closely with. We performed together the night before my trip. And when we met for lunch that day, he interrupted me as I talked and said: "Neny, you seem different; something in you has changed...your face has light; there's even something different in the tone of your voice. As you speak, I notice something that wasn't there before...I'm happy to see you like this".

WOW! This meant so much to me! His words confirm that what I am feeling inside is genuine and even, evident.

I am happy inside...I feel things changing...I feel things settling...I feel parts of me growing...I feel I am getting stronger...am I really getting ready to take flight?
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