"I'm 26... S*%# !"

It's been exactly 3 months today (-1) since my last post. And it is, today, my 26th birthday.

So........why did I stop blogging? I honestly don't know. I also stopped "buttoning". Why? I don't know either.

Wandering inside of me, wondering, I've thought of several possibilities. Maybe their purpose in my life has been fulfilled? Maybe ABOTONADA simply came to the end of its productive life? Maybe I just got "writer's block"? Maybe the things that were occupying my mind couldn't be blogged about? Maybe I just didn't need it (writing, buttoning)? Maybe I grew out of something? Maybe other things were keeping me busy? Maybe I simply didn't want to anymore? Maybe things were changing and I found other ways to canalize them? Maybe, maybe, maybe....

But today.................I feel like writing......I need this refuge....changes have brought me here, again.

WELCOME BACK....to my fragmented life!

"My Daddy's b-day is MY b-day too!"

Feb. 6th is really the date of this posting...I've had 2 FULL days of work and errands, and hadn't had the chance to sit down and WRITE. But my thoughts were on ONE thing on this day: HOW BLESSED I AM TO HAVE MY DADDY.

It was his birthday, and I think that, in a way, it's all our (my siblings and me) birthdays too, as we all have little parts of him in us. He is literally the source of our existance ;)Isn't that soooo deep in itself?!

He'll probably be shocked when he reads this, but I feel that my daddy holds a mystery. Nothing scary! :) It's just that as far as I can remember, daddy's been a righteous man, who loves playing by the rules, doing things "by the book", not one to socialize much, and a great seller at work but a man of few words at home; a bright minded man who will solve any difficulty at home or for anyone who needs his help, and who always has a right answer ready for any question asked. I grew up with a huge admiration towards my daddy...I KNEW something was very RIGHT about him! But as the years passed, and I grew to learn more about the world and our human nature, I pondered, things shouldn't be SO RIGHT about him............there's got to be something HUMANE!

I have a lot of qualities in me that reflect HIM...and as I've learned of my imperfections along the way, so I've reasoned that he must own his share, too. For a while, it became hard to come to terms with this reality, but as I once heard somewhere, "Parents are just kids trying to be adults". :) Isn't that interesting in the craziest of WAYS?! And when I think about it that way, I feel a renewed thankfulness... :)

But the mistery is somewhat surfacing ;) A couple of months ago, I found a treasure chest full of old photos and love letters. The letters where written from young daddy to young mommy, and the photos were of those times. My daddy was so loving and so tender in these letters...so in love! But it wasn't about the love, really...whatever I felt had something to do with himself, his own person. His way of expression in the letters made me see someone I didn't really know; someone I really liked and felt so connected to! It was my young daddy....

.....and the curious fact lays here: I don't know if it's my crazy mind or if it's at all true, but I feel that as daddy gets older, he's becoming in touch again with his younger self. I notice his essence coming back through many little things that I can notice BECAUSE I've read these letters...and it's such a beautiful thing. After so many years of work, of trying, of growing up, of being a kid trying to be an adult, he can finally RELAX and BE himself...AGAIN :)

Fragment: THE Birth DAY!

I don't know why, but for some reason, I've been hesitating to write about my birthday. It's been 6 days already, and I hadn't felt the need or the desire to write about it. The weird thing is that I had such a beautiful day, and at night time, I got EXACTLY what I'd wanted! So why wouldn't I want to share with you guys how my birth DAY went? Now that I think about it, I might have the answer...but that must be kept ;)

Well, in sum, my niece and nephew woke me up at 7:30 am, calling to sing "Happy B-day"! What a wonderful way to start the day :) Then, my sister asked me to get ready so we could go have breakfast! Yes! Had she read my blog? That was exactly what I'd wanted first thing that day: have breakfast at a nice cafe. WISH GRANTED! My sister, my lolos (niece+nephew) and I went to PANAVI; a cute little cafe with country charm and city glamour ;) There were baskets full of different kinds of breads, and the sound of the coffee machines blended in with the chattering of the privilegded guests. So, between the freshly baked bread and the brewing coffee, you could imagine the smell in this place was to die for! We had a wonderful breakfast!

My aunt called me while having breakfast, and I told her we'd go visit her and grandma. We spent a nice couple of hours talking and just spending family time.

At one point, my cousin arrived with a cake, so I got to sing "HAPPY B-DAY" and even blow a candle! I didn't think I'd get to do that this year :) I didn't make a wish, though :-/ My mind went totally blank before blowing the candle...Is that bad?

We left my aunt's house to go have lunch at the mall. Then, sister dropped me and my lolos off at my house. We watched ANNIE! What a great little girl :)

My good friend Smaydin picked me up at 8pm, and we headed towards my "planned" part of the day ;) I looked exactly how I'd wanted to look: a sweet short dress, tall boho sandals, butterfly headband, and a faux-pearl necklace wrapped around as a bracelet for some whimsy ;) I asked Smaydin to also wear a short dress and a headband, and she did! I love her! I gave her a wristlet made out of tulle topped with a white feather butterfly.


We had an exquisite meal, a wonderful bottle of french wine and non-stop CONVERSATION! It was such a girly moment...just what I needed :)

The restaurant closed at 12am, and we still hadn't stopped talking and laughing! So, Smaydin suggested we get more wine...GOOD IDEA! We got another bottle of wine, 2 plastic wine cups, sat at a park and talked 'til there was no more!

It was a fun, relaxing and interesing day, as my brother had wished for me ;)

Fragment: B4 25...

You guys, I've got a couple more minutes b4 25! What an event! This feels more climactic than 15 and 21 put together! Hold on, that would be 36, NEVER MIND! You get the point, I hope ;) (Left: me right now, UYY!)

Anyways, to celebrate my last night of being 24, I went to see "Nights in Rodanthe" (tonight instead of tomorrow) which I'd been anxiously waiting for! I went alone, alone, totally alone. It might sound sad, but it actually isn't. I really enjoy going to the movies by myself. I can take everything in better (whatever this may mean).

Now, about the film...I feel like it's not my place to critique movies in public like this. I mean, I feel like such an ignorant in this matter. But I mostly go by feelings; what emotions did this movie bring out in me? And from there, I guess, I form an opinion. You see? Nothing too technical, more like a super-personal comment.

However, I do feel the storyline in "Nights in Rodanthe" was kind of weak, like it was missing something. I read the book by Nicholas Sparks a couple of years ago, and loved it! I got hooked to his books after watching the movie "A Walk to Remember", one of my absolute favorite movies, by the way! Anyways, I remember the book was fabulous.

But there's SOMETHING peculiar about books that are made into movies. I think you either have to read the book and NOT watch the movie, or vice-versa. The thing is that one of the two will always lack what you are expecting! If you read the book first, you'll find that the movie doesn't show enough, because book stories give way more details. Also, the images you may have created in your mind, although guided by the author's descriptions, are really your own-unique creations; when you don't see them (YOUR 'imagined-images') on the big screen, you become subconciusly disenchanted. Moreover, if you see the movie first and then read the book, your mind is going to be already 'tainted' by what you've seen, and you will be expecting to 'see' what you already 'know', and totally miss out on the personal imagery process that takes place in READING.

Nevertheless, I will give this movie a chance. I remember when I saw the movie "The Notebook", also based on a Nicholas Sparks' novel (you see, I was hooked!); I had read the book first, and when I saw the movie, I felt empty. I was so full of expectations because of having read the book, that I couldn't appreciate the movie simply for what it was. Today, I own this movie. I came up with this theory of mine, and decided to give it chance. I love it now! I can watch it over and over again, and even cry *sniff, sniff*...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE ;)

Good night.

???!!! (*#$!#^$!)

Ok, so I'm as DOWN as I could be...

I got a FRAUD done in my bank account...I've lost $$ today, and guess what I'm doing?!?! I'm "window shopping" at ETSY! I'm telling you, it's the only thing keeping me sane right now...can't even talk to Pushy. Hope God isn't minding my 'patheticness' (is that even a word?).

Sooooooooooo, if somebody is interested in purchasing a B-day gift (I guess this goes to my followers, the 5 people that read my blog, jeje) for me, I would soooo LOVE this!! I'm a coffee lover; so, this gift is cheap, meaningful, looks like me, and it's from ETSY! There you go, it CANNOT get better than that ;)

(If interested, go to this link http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=sr_list_9&listing_id=16888699)

See? Etsy makes me feel better...........

I felt nauseaus before I started writing. It's just that the evil in this world is SO unbelievable. I've witnessed it in such little amounts, and it hurts so much, imagine those who........ok...you get the point. God have mercy of the idiots that stole my earned $$.

P.S. My niece made me a b-day gift today! This definitely lifted my spirit up a bit (and seeing my nephew, too). Kids have this effect on me, or on everybody, I believe. She made a b-day card for me; it had ME drawn on it, with my curly hair and golden streaks :) So funny! And bonus! She wrote me a poem!!!! It's in spanish, so bare with me; I NEEDED to share this. note: not only cuz my brother-in-law said I would ;)

EL MUNDO (The World)

El cielo azul, con las nubes The blue sky, its clouds flying
volando que resplandecen mis ojos, make my eyes sparkle,
los paises son verdes igual que countries are green as are
las plantas. the plants.
El mundo es maravilloso. The world is wonderful.

-Anelia Arias

Ok, so I have a concert in a bit! Better go...I guess, apart from ETSY, this blog is also doing wonders... :)

Fragment: MY Born-DAY...turning 25!

Remember the little trip to Zara I might've taken? Well, I took it today! Ahhhh, so much delight in one place!! I wanted a couple of things, but of course, I could only choose one with the excuse of making myself a b-day present ;) This is what I got ---> aren't they gorgeous?! Funky and cute...really, really like them!

So my born-day is in a week; I will be turning 25...wait a minute! Isn't this when the "quarter-life crisis" should be taking place? But, but, but...I think this will be my "5th quarter-life crisis anniversary day"!

Seriously, everyone that knows me is fully aware of this: I've been dealing with the quarter-life crisis since my sophmore year in college! I think it has something to do with what Kim tells Michael in the movie "THE LAST KISS" (click on the link below and FF to 1:40 minutes):



"The world is moving so fast now that we start freaking out way before our parents did...cuz we don't ever stop to breathe anymore..."

Wow...what a trailer, what a movie! I soooo recommend it! It's one of the most realistic Hollywood movies I've seen. I don't know much about films, but I'm a fan of independent films because of how REAL they are, and this movie reminded me of indie's...ABSOLUTELY love it! Especially at this point in my life...speaks so much to me...

So for my SUPER quarter-life b-day, this is what I've got planned! I'm going to wake up early and have breakfast at some nice coffee shop (still haven't decided which); will hang out with my family (sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew) for a bit, perhaps for lunch (?); will catch a matinee of "Nights in Rodanthe", which I've been waiting for by the minute (can't wait to see it!); will go home, shower, wear a sexy black dress, with a sweet butterfly headband I made, 'whichgoose' inspired :) (OK, so not even close to her fantastic creations, but it was fun trying!); will go out to "La Cave del Rey" for a fabulous dinner, at a fabulous place, and drink lots of WINE; will probably go home to sleep after that ;) mmm, but I think it's a nice day...just like my outfit for the night, it's like a mix of innocence and adulthood altogether...the matinee mixed in with wine at a fancy restaurant...the sexy dress mixed in with the cute butterfly headband...

.................25..................yep! I think that's what it represents for me right now....the MIX of it all...of all that I've been, up 'til this moment....*a girl breaking in to be a woman*....like a BUTTERFLY.....................