the end....

...today....many things end....a year, a dream, a chapter, a question, an opportunity, a path, a way, a FRAGMENT......

The Neny Fragments don't end here, though.....there's still much more to me....or so I'd like to believe.

So, like I wished a friend this morning, I wish myself a 90% happy 2010--downs are inevitable--I just want to love...and be happy.

Happy new year everyone.....

Neny

Fragment: ME

"I am feelingless...yet I feel so many things...

I feel all my worlds are turning... all my Darleny's are falling out and into place... I feel like I'm in Spain, in New York, in DR, in Cuba, in South Africa, in Denmark, in California. I'm a little girl and I'm a woman. I'm innocent and I know it all. I love and don't anymore... I am N's, A's, D's, L's and R's, yet I am nobody's; I am mine... I am me and someone else. I believe and don't believe at all. I am nowhere and everywhere at the same time. I am living so much, yet never have felt so close to dying...

I am this: ME."

Fragment: TECHIE or ANTIQUIE?

As a new year approaches, I am having a little debate:

Traditional planner or Blackberry for 2010?

I am not a techie person, at all; the people that know me are fully aware of this. I never have the last model of anything! My cell phone is super simple, I do not own an iPod or an iPhone, I do not have a chic MAC, I am terrible at setting alarms and reminders on anything virtual, I've owned 3 digital cameras only because they were given to me as gifts.

Moving on to the techie world scares me a bit. I mean, I find it so magical to whip out your pen and jot down ideas, to do lists, mark X's on things that weren't done, check off the tasks you've accomplished, draw little faces or scribbles that represent what you're feeling any given moment. I don't know if I'm ready to let go of this magic!

Technology is practical; very useful. I do acknolowdge its power to facilitate things. But its practicality is such that one tiny error occurs in one of those internal, tiny wires and the info in your apparatus disappears........all of a sudden, you lose your world! UUUYYY scary!

Hmmmmm, I think I've just given myself the answer. This is the beauty of writing; ideas become so much clearer...

ANTIQUIE IT IS ;) Planner shopping, here I come!!!!!

"The BUTTERLY fragment!"

I blog when I find something inspiring, moving, touching, and just anything that charms me away...

On this morning, butterflies had this effect on me...I searched for everything and anything with a butterfly motif that put a smile on my face. Here are those charming things:

"Lolita Lempicka"

I fell in love with Lolita today!

I am fascinated with the website, the design of the perfume bottles, the names of the perfumes, the images and the enchanting descriptions...each perfume has its own tale!

My favorite: First Fragrance...of which Lolita says, "I drew on my distant memories to recreate this intense moment when a girl is waiting to become a woman." First Fragrance is a fairytale for women...*SIGH*

http://www.parfumslolitalempicka.com/

Now, I can't wait to go perfume shopping! My next scent will most definitely be by Lolita!

"Julie & Julia"

"Uuuuyyy (in a very high pitch!), French people eat french food every single day! I can't get over it!" -Julia Child

Hmmm...I don't know if it has anything to do with the movie, but I made myself eggs for breakfast this morning! Mmmmm; hadn't done so in a while.

I watched Julie & Julia last night. What a feast! Of food, of colors, of laughter, of thoughts, of feelings, of questions, of tears...an inspiring pair of stories.

Meryl Streep, as always, was remarkably fantastic as Julia Child; and Amy Adams, whose been on various movies these last couple of years, also did a beautiful job as Julie Powell.

The film is based on two real stories:

"Julia Child and Julie Powell-both of whom wrote memoirs-find their lives intertwined. Though separated by time and space, both women are at loose ends...until they discover that with the right combination of passion, fearlessness and butter, anything is possible." -Columbia Pictures

I saw myself in so many little parts of this film. It is so comforting when you find yourself in such surreal places. You realize you're not alone in your crazy world of fears and frustrations. Lots of people go through the same stuff. In this particular case, Julie Powell found a way to FIND herself...LUCKY girl!

Well, I must say, I have been lucky myself. As I've mentioned before, ABOTONADA and The Neny Fragments have worked wonders for me! When you feel LOST or stuck, creating short term goals (even if they seem pointless) is the best medicine. Goals get you on your feet, motivate you, keep your mind occupied (therefore, less time for crappy thoughts), and you gain so much by just trying to accomplish things, even if you don't exactly get 'there'.

I think I'm starting to need a new set of those...short term goals, I mean....I've reached that point, again..............of aimlessness, and it is not fun! :S Julie & Julia have reminded me of what I started doing this year; finding little things through which I can canalize my passions. Creating goals that will keep me happy and going. So, what will my next project be?! UUUUYYY! Exciting! ;)

Note: This is Julie Powell's original blog, where she started her project, 524 recipes in 365 days from Julia Child's cookbook. The project that changed her life and her world.

Fragment: MY WAGEN

My wagen is sick :(

Cars are wonderful to have when you live in a place unlike NYC (with its fabulous subway system). However, there's a not-so-wonderful side to owning one:

*paying insurance fees
*taking it to the car hospital when something doesn't sound or feel right (get ready for scary bills!)

So, when I had to leave my wagen at the shop yesterday, I wished to be a new yorker once again :S

Like everything ELSE in life, owning a car AND living in NYC both have its UPS and DOWNS.

What can you do? ;)

"a FRAGMENTED painting"

I accidentally came across this painting and it is SO perfect for my blog!

The name of this work by David Bowers is "FRAGMENTED Homemaker". :D

I'm not really sure of its meaning; but somehow, I SEE myself in her, so I like it. It is MEANT to be HERE...with the rest of my fragments!

You can check out more of his work at http://www.dmbowers.com

"my FRAGMENTED heart"

As the wind blows

My heart knows
As the wind blows through the trees
My heart is stirring like the leaves

Even as the rain falls from the sky
Clouds fill my eyes and I wonder why
Wonder in a sense of amazement and awe
At how life begins

It never seems to ever cease
In its educating reminding awakening us
From the things that we think that we know

As the wind blows

My heart knows
As the wind blows through the trees
My heart is stirring like the leaves

Even as fires flames burning bright
I feel my soul is my guiding light
I wonder in a sense of amusement and awe

At how life evolves

It never seems to ever cease
In its elevating redefining awakening us
From the things that we think that we know

I thought I knew I thought I knew

As the wind blows

My heart knows
As the wind blows through the trees
My heart is stirring like the leaves

-WIND lyrics by Solstice