Fragment: TRADITION

I couldn't sleep last night, and that is a very rare thing...my heart felt unsettled and I know exactly the reason why. Tradition has it that when a person passes, friends and family visit the late person's immediate family for 9 days to keep them company during such tough days. On the 9th day, people come again from all over the place to visit the family and it represents a very BIG event. The family orders food for everyone, and even rent chairs to sit people; it is a social gathering...people saluting, talking and laughing even, until the time comes for the last cries. Some time in the afternoon, a mass is offered at the town's church where the priest mentions the late person's name in the prayers for one last time (my dad told me people actually pay for this!) and the family and friends cry all over again :(

Now, my unsettling feeling came about because I had to make a DECISION; do I HAVE to go support my mom, although I think this event doesn't make any sense?? Personally, I see this 9th day event as mere TORTURE. It has taken me a week to reassure my emotions after such painful days, to get back to my normal activities, and conform with life's reality of DEATH. To go back to all this would reawaken everything! I call that TORTURE! Tio is gone, and that is the END of it. :S

I asked my dad for advice last night before he headed off to the airport: "help me dad! Should I go or not? I really don't want to, but I think of mom..." and he said, "I don't see the sense of it either, but it's the TRADITION and you are part of this society and this culture...your mom will not understand if you do otherwise...but you do what you want...look at ME, I bought my ticket to leave today ;)" And he went on to explain the TRADITION as I have described it in the paragraphs above.

My sister also challenged me by saying, "It's TRADITION, sister; as you heard so much about it in the Fiddler on the Roof...it's your decision if you want to break it or follow it"

And I've decided to break it...the unsettling feeling this morning has stopped...I've decided not to go to the 9th day event. I will stay home LIVING my life, not elsewhere celebrating DEATH.

NOTE: The song TRADITION of "The Fiddle on the Roof". This scene is amazing, so much truth in it....TRADITION!!!!!!!!!!