"WHAT NOW? is not just a panic-striken question tossed out into a dark unkown. What now can also be our joy. It is a declaration of possibility, of promise, of chance. It acknowledges that our future is open, that at every point in our development we are still striving to grow."
I feel like I've dropped my compass - lost once again - I've fallen into "limbo land"...will this keep happening every so often?
My therapist pointed out yesterday that this may be happening as part of the mourning process...I'm not so sure, although it does make some sense.
Work, love, friendship, community, church, hobbies...WHAT AM I REALLY DOING? and WHY? Where am I going with all this? Where's my compass pointing to? WHAT/WHERE is my NORTH?
She asked me if I could share with her 2 priorities of my life right this moment...and I coudln't...that's when I realized I wasn't holding my compass anymore...where did I drop it?
I better find it...
5 comments:
Ay Neny no sabes cuanto te entiendo...hace unos anos atras pase por esa etapa, muchas cosas perdieron el sentido para mi y sufri varias perdidas muy fuertes: Termine la relacion con el hombre que amaba, mi abuelita murio y uno de mis tios favoritos tambien murio de una forma inesperada, con apenas 50. No sabia que rumbo iban a tomar las cosas...dure un ano en terapia y los primeros seis meses fueron sesiones donde me las pasaba llorando...en fin te cuento esto porque todo en la vida pasa y las cosas toman su curso... no pierdas la fe Neny...love you.
Darleny, belive me that I know what is going on with your live at this moment. You know me very well and you know my character, my endurance in difficult time, and I have to confess that Augusto's death has knocked me down; and if no only that his passed away, it's the everything about his death, the unexpected, all the labors I was envolved during the process of the funeral, and the worst part, afterall, the human misery, the stinginess. I'm still struggling trying to settle down, come back to my normal live, but I just can't make it, because I stay in the process helping Augusto's children and this keeps me stick to his death, and the misery. But I decided to lean on God, I realized I just can't make for myself. With God we over pass all this. Go for Him; don't delay, please. I love you.
Eli...gracias por compartir estas cositas conmigo...gracias por siempre leerme y escribirme... :) it's very comforting...
Father...gracias por escribirme...se que esto ha sido muy fuerte para ti, porque te conozco y lo note en los dias que estuviste aqui...ha sido muy triste y doloroso, y lo peor de todo, INEXPLICABLE...pero lo mejor que escribiste: "go for Him; don't delay". I love you papi...me encanto que me escribieras en ingles :)
Darleny check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuqhKTzbrwo
What I want you to hear starts at 4:20... I randomly found this and amazingly I was laying on my bed at night... and recently i'd been having all these thoughts like the ones he mentioned... so it was good to hear this message, it was like God speaking directly to me through Peter... I don't know if you identify with this as much as me, but hopefully it serves you for something. Love you.
Guevs, se me habia olvidado decirte que escuche el clip de Peter que me dijiste...y...WOW...it was amazing...el mensaje fue para mi tambien...creo que para todos...GRACIAS Guevits...you always have great things to share :) I love you.
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