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Feb. 6th is really the date of this posting...I've had 2 FULL days of work and errands, and hadn't had the chance to sit down and WRITE. But my thoughts were on ONE thing on this day: HOW BLESSED I AM TO HAVE MY DADDY.It was his birthday, and I think that, in a way, it's all our (my siblings and me) birthdays too, as we all have little parts of him in us. He is literally the source of our existance ;)Isn't that soooo deep in itself?!
He'll probably be shocked when he reads this, but I feel that my daddy holds a mystery. Nothing scary! :) It's just that as far as I can remember, daddy's been a righteous man, who loves playing by the rules, doing things "by the book", not one to socialize much, and a great seller at work but a man of few words at home; a bright minded man who will solve any difficulty at home or for anyone who needs his help, and who always has a right answer ready for any question asked. I grew up with a huge admiration towards my daddy...I KNEW something was very RIGHT about him! But as the years passed, and I grew to learn more about the world and our human nature, I pondered, things shouldn't be SO RIGHT about him............there's got to be something HUMANE!
I have a lot of qualities in me that reflect HIM...and as I've learned of my imperfections along the way, so I've reasoned that he must own his share, too. For a while, it became hard to come to terms with this reality, but as I once heard somewhere, "Parents are just kids trying to be adults". :) Isn't that interesting in the craziest of WAYS?! And when I think about it that way, I feel a renewed thankfulness... :)
But the mistery is somewhat surfacing ;) A couple of months ago, I found a treasure chest full of old photos and love letters. The letters where written from young daddy to young mommy, and the photos were of those times. My daddy was so loving and so tender in these letters...so in love! But it wasn't about the love, really...whatever I felt had something to do with himself, his own person. His way of expression in the letters made me see someone I didn't really know; someone I really liked and felt so connected to! It was my young daddy....
.....and the curious fact lays here: I don't know if it's my crazy mind or if it's at all true, but I feel that as daddy gets older, he's becoming in touch again with his younger self. I notice his essence coming back through many little things that I can notice BECAUSE I've read these letters...and it's such a beautiful thing. After so many years of work, of trying, of growing up, of being a kid trying to be an adult, he can finally RELAX and BE himself...AGAIN :)
6 comments:
Wao Don Gil! this man is really special, I love him very much. Thanks for sharing this Neny and show us the young Gilberto, he was so handsome!
Gracias Eli :) I'm glad you enjoyed it...HE IS VERY HANDSOME IN THAT PICTURE!!! ;)
Thanks Neny for this blog dedicated to me. You really know me very well, and I think you're right when you said I am having a "come back to younger years". At this time, I've realized that my time (my life) is getting shorter and I'd like to share as much as I can of me with people I care about. I'm getting more sensible, lovely and tender with those around me. That's what I want.
Ahhhh!!! How cute, sister!!! I didn't realize that I hadn't come to your blog for quiet a few days, so I hadn't read this beautiful piece. You're right when you say that as we were little kids we saw papi as such a righteous person, it was at sometimes overwhelming and I think that's what pushed us in a way to follow his path and try to be as close to righteousness as we could get (at least that's what I think happened to me). But then we grew up and we came in touch with papi as an imperfect person, someone more real. And, for me, that was OK, you know why? because even though he was not as perfect as we thought, he was so close to it. All his good things make the not-so-good feel so small and insignificant. (OMG, I just realized this is a very long comment, perhaps I should start blogging too ;)!!!) So, I want to used this opportunity and tell him something (I am, out of the 4 of us, who is more like him, and we are not very good in expressing stuff verbally, so...): Papi, I am very proud and thankful of you, of who you are, of who you have become, of what you've done in your life and for mom, your 4 kids and now for your grandchildren. I know your are not perfect, but you've done such a good job trying to do your best, and that's what counts. I love you very much.
Sister, I noticed that you've written twice about papi, but none about mami....what's going on???? I know she doesn't read this but we would all tell her you did and she deserves to have a spot in your blog (and me too...jajajaja). Love U.
Awwww! I'm so happy this entry was such a hit!! :) Thank you for the comments...and yes sister! It's true! I must write about mami...well her b-day is soon ;) Thanks for reading me everyone!
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