Fragment: LIMITS

I am so loving my yoga class. I missed it terribly while I was in Spain! My body felt the difference. But besides the physical aspect, I just love everything else about it; the ambience, the people, the applause and the hug after each session, the meditation (one does not usually stop like this on own time!), the incense, the lavender color on the ceiling (I've mentioned this before, sorry!). This week, the teacher has been introducing some new stretching techniques by partnering people. At first, we all hesitated; there's just a natural level of discomfort when it comes to making yourself vulnerable in front of others. OMG! A stranger is going to touch me and help me stretch my body?! It's kind of intimidating, but after you cross that boundary, you discover that it is lovely to step into someone's space in this way. With no conversation, just touch and collaboration, a sense of community is created.

Anyways, yesterday my yoga instructor said something really interesting and powerful: "yoga is all about knowing the limits of your body...AND BREAKING THEM". WOW.

To stretch beyond your limits...isn't this a useful thought that can be applied to everything else in life? When you think you can just reach a certain level, a certain feeling, a certain place, a certain person...think again...and try to go further...reach further...work for more...do not conform...things can ALWAYS be better. OK, but don't go crazy, though. Just like in yoga, stretching your limit is done in a patient, slow, delicate fashion, so you don't hurt yourself. Little by little, treating your body with love, getting to know every sensation, you will know when to stop, rest, recover, and go on. Everyday, you'll be at least a millimeter further. I am not sure closer to what, but FURTHER ;)

Now, the interesting thing about this word/concept is that, in the last session with my therapist (before I left to Spain), we spoke about LIMITS. However, we did not talk about stretching my limits, it was more about defining them and establishing them in my life, so other people don't break them. This is a whole other perspective on LIMITS. I am not too sure I understood the benefits of her concepts. But in the days that followed, I learned some truths about limits through a couple of people and situations. So now, I am working on my LIMITS; it's the word of this season in my life. Limits in the things I say and share (DISCRETE); limits in what to say yes to and no to (ASSERTIVE); limits in the amount of friends that'll know EVERTHING about me (EXCLUSIVE); limits in relationships (IDENTITY); limits in what to give and how (SELECTIVE); limits, limits, limits...

There's a book my sister is reading, and that my little brother once recommended, which deals with this matter: John Henry Cloud's, "BOUNDARIES". I haven't read it myself, but I've heard very good things about it, so it's definitely on my 'TO READ' list.

I guess boundaries/limits ARE a healthy tool to use in life, either way. Whether you stretch your limits to make yourself stronger and/or reach further, or you establish them so other people or things don't go beyond them.

YES! I'm working on it ;)