the end....

...today....many things end....a year, a dream, a chapter, a question, an opportunity, a path, a way, a FRAGMENT......

The Neny Fragments don't end here, though.....there's still much more to me....or so I'd like to believe.

So, like I wished a friend this morning, I wish myself a 90% happy 2010--downs are inevitable--I just want to love...and be happy.

Happy new year everyone.....

Neny

Fragment: ME

"I am feelingless...yet I feel so many things...

I feel all my worlds are turning... all my Darleny's are falling out and into place... I feel like I'm in Spain, in New York, in DR, in Cuba, in South Africa, in Denmark, in California. I'm a little girl and I'm a woman. I'm innocent and I know it all. I love and don't anymore... I am N's, A's, D's, L's and R's, yet I am nobody's; I am mine... I am me and someone else. I believe and don't believe at all. I am nowhere and everywhere at the same time. I am living so much, yet never have felt so close to dying...

I am this: ME."

Fragment: TECHIE or ANTIQUIE?

As a new year approaches, I am having a little debate:

Traditional planner or Blackberry for 2010?

I am not a techie person, at all; the people that know me are fully aware of this. I never have the last model of anything! My cell phone is super simple, I do not own an iPod or an iPhone, I do not have a chic MAC, I am terrible at setting alarms and reminders on anything virtual, I've owned 3 digital cameras only because they were given to me as gifts.

Moving on to the techie world scares me a bit. I mean, I find it so magical to whip out your pen and jot down ideas, to do lists, mark X's on things that weren't done, check off the tasks you've accomplished, draw little faces or scribbles that represent what you're feeling any given moment. I don't know if I'm ready to let go of this magic!

Technology is practical; very useful. I do acknolowdge its power to facilitate things. But its practicality is such that one tiny error occurs in one of those internal, tiny wires and the info in your apparatus disappears........all of a sudden, you lose your world! UUUYYY scary!

Hmmmmm, I think I've just given myself the answer. This is the beauty of writing; ideas become so much clearer...

ANTIQUIE IT IS ;) Planner shopping, here I come!!!!!

"The BUTTERLY fragment!"

I blog when I find something inspiring, moving, touching, and just anything that charms me away...

On this morning, butterflies had this effect on me...I searched for everything and anything with a butterfly motif that put a smile on my face. Here are those charming things:

"Lolita Lempicka"

I fell in love with Lolita today!

I am fascinated with the website, the design of the perfume bottles, the names of the perfumes, the images and the enchanting descriptions...each perfume has its own tale!

My favorite: First Fragrance...of which Lolita says, "I drew on my distant memories to recreate this intense moment when a girl is waiting to become a woman." First Fragrance is a fairytale for women...*SIGH*

http://www.parfumslolitalempicka.com/

Now, I can't wait to go perfume shopping! My next scent will most definitely be by Lolita!

"Julie & Julia"

"Uuuuyyy (in a very high pitch!), French people eat french food every single day! I can't get over it!" -Julia Child

Hmmm...I don't know if it has anything to do with the movie, but I made myself eggs for breakfast this morning! Mmmmm; hadn't done so in a while.

I watched Julie & Julia last night. What a feast! Of food, of colors, of laughter, of thoughts, of feelings, of questions, of tears...an inspiring pair of stories.

Meryl Streep, as always, was remarkably fantastic as Julia Child; and Amy Adams, whose been on various movies these last couple of years, also did a beautiful job as Julie Powell.

The film is based on two real stories:

"Julia Child and Julie Powell-both of whom wrote memoirs-find their lives intertwined. Though separated by time and space, both women are at loose ends...until they discover that with the right combination of passion, fearlessness and butter, anything is possible." -Columbia Pictures

I saw myself in so many little parts of this film. It is so comforting when you find yourself in such surreal places. You realize you're not alone in your crazy world of fears and frustrations. Lots of people go through the same stuff. In this particular case, Julie Powell found a way to FIND herself...LUCKY girl!

Well, I must say, I have been lucky myself. As I've mentioned before, ABOTONADA and The Neny Fragments have worked wonders for me! When you feel LOST or stuck, creating short term goals (even if they seem pointless) is the best medicine. Goals get you on your feet, motivate you, keep your mind occupied (therefore, less time for crappy thoughts), and you gain so much by just trying to accomplish things, even if you don't exactly get 'there'.

I think I'm starting to need a new set of those...short term goals, I mean....I've reached that point, again..............of aimlessness, and it is not fun! :S Julie & Julia have reminded me of what I started doing this year; finding little things through which I can canalize my passions. Creating goals that will keep me happy and going. So, what will my next project be?! UUUUYYY! Exciting! ;)

Note: This is Julie Powell's original blog, where she started her project, 524 recipes in 365 days from Julia Child's cookbook. The project that changed her life and her world.

Fragment: MY WAGEN

My wagen is sick :(

Cars are wonderful to have when you live in a place unlike NYC (with its fabulous subway system). However, there's a not-so-wonderful side to owning one:

*paying insurance fees
*taking it to the car hospital when something doesn't sound or feel right (get ready for scary bills!)

So, when I had to leave my wagen at the shop yesterday, I wished to be a new yorker once again :S

Like everything ELSE in life, owning a car AND living in NYC both have its UPS and DOWNS.

What can you do? ;)

"a FRAGMENTED painting"

I accidentally came across this painting and it is SO perfect for my blog!

The name of this work by David Bowers is "FRAGMENTED Homemaker". :D

I'm not really sure of its meaning; but somehow, I SEE myself in her, so I like it. It is MEANT to be HERE...with the rest of my fragments!

You can check out more of his work at http://www.dmbowers.com

"my FRAGMENTED heart"

As the wind blows

My heart knows
As the wind blows through the trees
My heart is stirring like the leaves

Even as the rain falls from the sky
Clouds fill my eyes and I wonder why
Wonder in a sense of amazement and awe
At how life begins

It never seems to ever cease
In its educating reminding awakening us
From the things that we think that we know

As the wind blows

My heart knows
As the wind blows through the trees
My heart is stirring like the leaves

Even as fires flames burning bright
I feel my soul is my guiding light
I wonder in a sense of amusement and awe

At how life evolves

It never seems to ever cease
In its elevating redefining awakening us
From the things that we think that we know

I thought I knew I thought I knew

As the wind blows

My heart knows
As the wind blows through the trees
My heart is stirring like the leaves

-WIND lyrics by Solstice

"Lovers of the Arctic Circle"

Last night, I saw a magical film. The plot revolves around the concept of the circle of life and the coincidences in life. DESTINY.

I love the plot summary that I found on www.imdb.com:

"Otto and Ana are kids when they meet each other. Their names are palindromes. They meet by chance, people are related by chance. A story of circular lives, with circular names, and a circular place (Circulo Polar) where the day never ends under the midnight sun. There are things that never end, and love is one of them."

One of the lines that struck me the most is when Ana, towards the end of the film, says: "I am waiting for the biggest coincidence of my life..." We could all tell the story of our lives by tying coincidences...WOW!

The ending really bugged me, though...I didn't really understand it! :S As explained on www.wikipedia.com: "In the end, one of the main character dies in a freak accident. Told by Ana's point of view, Otto dies, and told by Otto's point of view, Ana dies."

Hmmmm...a bit confusing...this film is so crazy! The story is so uniquely told. I absolutely adored watching this!!!

Which coincidence are YOU waiting for? Which am I? :p

Fragment: PALETTE

I just realized that I haven't blogged about a colorful, meaningful new fragment of my life: PALETTE!!

Three girlfriends from the orchestra and I have brought our talents and our instruments together to create a peculiar combination of sounds, colors, looks, personalities and repertoire in this all-girl quartet! It is certainly in the beginning stages, so there's still a LOT to be done. But here's a recording we made to audition for a gig, which we got *wink, wink* and so far, have gotten very nice feedback :D

You're welcome to leave yours!

"Aug/Sept/Oct FRAGMENTS..."

I guess lots of interesting little things have happened in the last 3 months, but they have passed and I have missed writing about them, oopsie! :S And, just as my favorite quote points out, "TIME THAT'S PASSED, NEVER COMES BACK".

There are some highlights, though, that MUST be mentioned.

-Orchestra auditions were held in August and the funniest thing happened! I wore heels (something I usually NEVER wear) and got a bit nervous while playing behind the curtains. The heels started shaking and affecting my playing, so as I played Mozart away, I was kicking my heels out of my foot! I did OK; not too great, not too horrible, and such was reflected in the punctuation I received, so I believe the jury was very fair and objective. Things are better now in the orchestra. The new conductor and assistant conductor are doing a great job. Everything is more organized, more serious, less drama, and (yes!) sounding much better. We are much more motivated, I guess.

-Collaborated with my lovely photographer friend, Ali, in a couple of shoots. Here are some samples:

-On a random day, my brother sent me an e-mail with the most amazing words describing me...(which, of course, I haven't yet responded!) I love you, brotherrrrrrrr:

My crazy, but so loving, sister!

You are like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day (oh wait, is this like the lyrics of a song, cause I truly just thought of this... lol, oh well!) Hahahaha, but this phrase captures so much truth to your existence Neny... No matter how hectic, or crazy your life might get, you always find a way to keep on pushing forward; making everybody around you better and better the more they get to know you. You have such a positive impact on others, that it's just amazing!

Thanks for being proud of your old bro! I love you lots, too! And if I'm your favorite genius, you are my favorite artist! And not just of creative artsy stuff; to me you are an artist of life... You add color and shape to everything you touch, and your energy moves the souls of everybody that comes in contact with you. You are like a magnet for people, no matter what situation, where, or when, people are naturally attracted to you... Because you are an ARTIST... an Artist of life!

I love you so much my gorgeous and crazy sister! Keep being who you are, just change who you are not!

Your brotherrrrrr

-Read two books I adored (!!): "The Awakening" (1899) by Kate Chopin and "Love the one you're with" (2009) by Emily Giffin.

-...and...perhaps, many other things I just can't think of right now...so, TO BE CONTINUED (?) ;)

"I'm 26... S*%# !"

It's been exactly 3 months today (-1) since my last post. And it is, today, my 26th birthday.

So........why did I stop blogging? I honestly don't know. I also stopped "buttoning". Why? I don't know either.

Wandering inside of me, wondering, I've thought of several possibilities. Maybe their purpose in my life has been fulfilled? Maybe ABOTONADA simply came to the end of its productive life? Maybe I just got "writer's block"? Maybe the things that were occupying my mind couldn't be blogged about? Maybe I just didn't need it (writing, buttoning)? Maybe I grew out of something? Maybe other things were keeping me busy? Maybe I simply didn't want to anymore? Maybe things were changing and I found other ways to canalize them? Maybe, maybe, maybe....

But today.................I feel like writing......I need this refuge....changes have brought me here, again.

WELCOME BACK....to my fragmented life!

"Luis Fonsi @DR"

Last night, I was a bit...hmmm...on the down side : p

And as I got home and poured myself a glass of wine, Anys calls me: "I have 2 VIP tickets to go to Luis Fonsi's concert tonight, and I have no one to go with. Would you like to come? You have 30 minutes to get ready!"

WHAT?!

Ok, so I tremendously dislike big crowds, the reason why I hadn't even thought of going to the lovely Fonsi concert. But, come on! I could not turn down a last minute offer like this one!

So, I went, and loved every second of it. I wasn't even jumping or screaming, like all the other girls were. I was mesmerized; just standing still, gazing at his little body, which was there, so REAL! Artists can become something so mystical, you know?

Anyways, I've loved his songs and his sweet voice for years; so I was totally HAPPY for being there last night.

He sings beautifully! Although his stage presence is not very powerful, his voice is impeccable, and he's flirty and cute, and all that good stuff girls like in a boy artist; so it's all good ;)

Loved last night! Thanks for thinking of ME, Anys!

Fragment: LETTERING ART

Going through old e-mails yesterday, I ran through this motivating quote:

"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did..."

For quite a while, I've had a burning desire to take a class of some sort. I haven't been sure of exactly what kind of class, but I've just been wanting to learn something new, use my brain a bit more, and have homework to do ;)

I've thought about dance classes, french, sculpture, lettering art, creative writing, or perhaps, get my masters? (hmmm...)

Ok, so the french class I already got on with. Although, I have to admit I've left it behind and must resume it :p I have taken up yoga instead of a dance class and absolutely LOVE IT! ;) I've thought of the masters subject, but don't think it makes much sense at this point in my life (why? this will take another post!).

So, I looked for information on a LETTERING ART course and found a cute, little art school not too far from my house...I am soooo excited! It is a 6 week program, 3 hours of practicing calligraphy each day..ufff! I went this weekend, and felt like I was in 1st grade learning how to write! My hand was shaky and all, WHAT?! :) But I must say, for those three hours, my mind did not wander off ANYWHERE. What a relieve!

I need more of these...CLASSES!

"Boho Mag"

I have found a magazine that feels so me: BOHO MAG!

BOHO GIRL

Free. Radical. Independent.

Her styles is her own.

It's personal, existential.

Her only fear is conventions.

Her only weakness, shoes.

The bump on her nose adds character,

the scar on her shoulder adds strength,

the curl in her hair adds attitude.

There's no such thing as imperfection,

just originality.

Unmovable, Unshakeable, Unstoppable,

She is America's next top rode model.

Someone both inspired and inspiring.

She embraces her spirituality,

aspires to her dreams,

lives through her passions.

She is a world changer.

She is bohemian.

She is boho girl.

Visit its website www.bohomag.com and its blog http://www.bohomag.blogspot.com/ !