I am a musician.
Uuuuuuuuyyyyy, it has taken me a while to believe so, totally ignoring the fact that I have been playing the clarinet since I was 10 years old (14 yrs now!). I studied music all through my school years (6th to 12th grade). I went to college and graduated with a Bachelors degree in Music Performance.
Yet, none of this has ever convinced me...but why?
I think it might have something to do with the fact that I know I have a lot of soul, but I despise the fact that I don't have an ABSOLUTE PITCHED ear. "When you have absolute pitch, literally a fraction of a second after a note is played, you know exactly where you are on the scale" I've always felt less of a musician because I don't have this gift :S I've trained my ear, and have been able to pass my music courses with very good grades, but nothing ever close to this absolute recognition. Some of my musician friends tell me they go crazy when they hear a symphony, because they can hear all notes. They hear all the names of the sounds being produced! WOW...now I'm not so sure that is great after all :p
Anyways, everyone that knows me knows about my love/hate relationship with the clarinet. I LOVE music! But I don't necessarily love playing this instrument.
People often ask me why I chose the clarinet. Well, I was 10 years old, and was given a list with all sorts of instruments to choose from. I opted to go for one that I had no clue about. I wanted to do lots of exploring! And there, so early in my life, I can pinpoint this pattern of mine, of always wanting to take the "road less travelled"...so cliché, I know, but I love this truth!
I graduated college, and felt free to put away the clarinet and explore other things. Two years of total uncertainty, of failed NORMAL job searching, and an unpaid internship later, I came to the Dominican Republic for my cousin's wedding, and one of those other clichéd quotes became a reality for me: I was "in the right place, at the right time". The 2nd clarinetist of the National Symphony Orchestra in DR was retiring and I was invited to audition for the position.
I AM OFFICIALLY THE CLARINETIST OF A PROFESSIONAL ORCHESTRA...
*sigh*
Once again, "the world turns, and it turns a lot!" for me, as Pushy once told me.
1 comment:
Sis, all throughout life I've always wanted to be a musician (something that only a few people close to me know). When you first took on the Clarinet, I was very intrigued at why you chose such a weird (at least to me at the time) instrument. I, personally, would have chosen something a little more general; you know, the guitar, the piano, the violin. But NO, you chose the clarinet. At first I didn't even think it would last. However, as I watched from the sidelines, I saw you grow (through your good and bad times, and through all your hard work and dedication) into an amazing performer... YES, PERFORMER!!! That's what you are sister, no matter what instrument, what style of music, or what audience you have, you always give people the best of YOU. Not only your talent, gifts, and knowledge as a musician, but your soul and mind. The clarinet was just the means to get to the level you are at now: a PROFESSIONAL! The clarinet has become a part of you, and who you are. It's so different, so intricate, so secluded within an orchestra, but yet, when played well (like you do), can make such an emotional sound (and I chose the word emotional, because it depicts the actual connection to people's feelings when they hear the clarinet play), and can become the heart of a symphony, or even the main instrument (Me acuerdo mucho the Arlequin!!!). Just like you sisterrrrr, such an outgoing personality, with such creative gifts, with such complexities, and very different from all the other girls your age, but yet you can be in a room full of individuals, and although you might not be the host, for some reason everybody knows you are there. I've always loved to hear you play. To this day I still listen to your Junior recital CD. And I feel happy when I play it, because although I did not become a musician like I wanted to, I can listen to the beautiful sounds of your clarinet and know that it will live on forever in the hearts of those who know you and live through all your difficulties. OVERALL sister, the clarinet has made you a survivor, a winner amongst all others who have given up, and although you gave up momentarily on the clarinet, you did not stop performing! Sis, your life is a performance, one which I will never get tired of watching, because everytime I experience it my world becomes a better place! Thanks for being who you are sis, and for giving us the pleasure of enjoying your intricate, unique, but very touching life. Love you lots sis!!! God Bless! (If I made any spelling mistakes, my apologies, but I ain't reading this "Listin" before I post, lol)
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